My mother, born on Christmas eve 1953. Parents: Robert and Persis Cakata. Superwoman some might call her. I know that I certainly would. She’s a woman I love and respect deeply. Here’s a long overdue letter with love from a regular ‘dude’, to my Xhosa African Queen Mother:
Dear Mama (Zalisa Sekeleni),
“Can’t” – a word that I have never heard you say. “You live and learn”? Yes, those are also your words.
I know a lot of wonderful mothers, none that could manage two jobs, day and night the way you have and continue to do, as a radiographer by day and a doctor’s assistant after hours.
Among your awesome feats is giving birth to and raising 6 strong grown-up young individuals, Bongani, Thandile, Siyabulela (myself), Bukiwe, Banele, and Loyiso Sekeleni;
I know I was really unruly, breaking stuff, losing house keys, that you nearly had a heart attack the day I stuck a live electric wire in my mouth when I was 5 years old.
Then when I was about 10 years old, we lived in a small village (your home) in Centane on the Transkei coast where you worked at a hospital close by. We had to fetch water from the river and wood from the forest to make a fire.
When I had a child out of wedlock you weren’t pleased, I know this because all you said was “uqale ngeyokugqibela” (meaning: you jumped to last step). You still supported me all the way even though you had hoped I would know better, as my sister was already an example. That’s the only time I felt I disappointed you.
When my daughter was born you travelled all the way to Johannesburg to make amends with their family. Since then you’ve visited my daughter a couple of times and are always a call away if I need you. You’re even prepared to take time off work to help me..
When we disagree, you know just how to let me know that you think I am talking drivel. The rules are clear. You listen, you consider, and you make a decision. No two ways about it
I live alone now, and I’m proud to say that my place reflects the lessons you have taught me: cleanliness, warmth, a spirit of content. I’ve also learnt compassion and compromise (though of course some might not agree. LOL!).
Happy Mother’s Day Mamtipha!
One more thing before I’m out: If it’s true what they say about every man looking for the reflection of his mother in a partner, then I must say, jokingly of course (don’t run away now ladies 😉 the women out there might not stand a chance.
P.S. Am sure my mama wonders when I am getting married though!!
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10 Responses
Wow its very touhing to see a son appreciating and showing so much love to his mother. Your Queen Mother MamaZalisa must be a very proud mother. I have a son who’s 9 years old, he bought me sweet gift (cellphone sock, heart and cross key holder and a cute ring that can only fit in my pinkie)for mothers day and drew a sweet picture with a big heart telling me he loves me. I pray that he grows up and appreciate the sacrifices I make for him and he remembers lessons that I teach him.
Beautiful words Siya.
Oh my this is touching.. Wow, what a blessing for you and your mom. I’m reading this and smiling because there are other superwomen (besides my mom).. Engathi inkosi ingamugcina.
WOW! am sure she’s in tears of joy readin this man. Inspired!
This sounds very sincere and I would hope I receive something like this from my son 1day. You really have “Relationship” with your mother, a real one.
By the way, why you are not married any way. (Never mind, that Sh*t is overrated anyway).
Siyabulela, I now understand why your parents gave you that name. You are a wonderful gift, such a compassionate person, I value you dearly:-)
I hope my 4 year old son will feel the same way you feel and respect your mother when he is your age. God knows I love that little person more than I will ever love any other living being on this earth.
Nice Work,
Nodumo
Ncooo this is too touching for words. Thank God for mothers-they are really God sent. Its great that you can appreaciate your mom like this
Iyoo Siya,I am suprised one can never take you for a sentimental dude. You mother really raised a wonderful boy or should I say man seeing that you are someone’s father and you are certainly doing a great job in that department. Our parents love us faults and all. Happy Mothers day to all the beautiful women out there, my mother included.
“uqale ngeyokugqibela” lol
Great read!
Very sweat of you…I hope she gets to read it.
Awww Siya…. what a lovely letter. You are such a sincere and lovable person. Mama Zalisa must be very proud of u honey!
So cute. Love the electric wire moment, she must have whipped you silly.
Oh how I wish I could do the same.
As for the fact that no woman, can compare, I bet all boys say that about their mothers.
Loved it