If I die today, I ask myself
Have I given my children enough love ?
Have I laughed with them and cuddled them?
Have I shared some of my life’s lessons?
Have I given them strength
To face the world with courage?
Have I shared my values
so that they know what is important to me?
Have I taught them to question
and make sense of the world in their own way?
Have I introduced them
to the wonders of nature
that so inspire me
and bring joy to my heart
and to all the other things that make my spirit soar?
Have I encouraged them to be true to themselves
and follow their own path in life?
Have I allowed them the freedom
to explore and have adventures
to taste the juice and passion of life?
Have I given them the space to fall
and pick themselves up?
Have I been there
to nurture them, comfort them,
sing with them, dance with them?
Have I been true to myself
So that they learn not from what I say, but what I do?
Have I been a good mother
on my own terms?
Jayshree Sita 10 Sep 2010
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12 Responses
Each day is different with my family….a lucky-packet to say the least. I have 2 gorgeous, energetic and very imaginative kids who seem to constantly challenge my views, my responses and my ‘real’ purpose in life. I’ve given them free reign when it comes to their creativity while I have been very strict with their eating and sleeping. I have been truly blessed to have the opportunity to be at home with them although there are times when I don’t feel very blessed. Things can get very chaotic at times and when it is silent again….I always come back to the same questions that your beautiful poem has outlined. After 5 years of motherhood, I don’t know if I can even say that I have an answer for even half of the questions in the poem…but what I can say is that I’ve done my best on my own terms and that this never ending learning curve of motherhood is something that comforts me and brings joy to my heart!
Hello ladies
I am truly touched by your responses to my poem. It is so wonderful to hear feedback like yours and know that these questions are constantly there in every mother’s mind.
I am travelling from tomorrow until later this month, but will send you all a more detailed reply when I get back.
Enjoy your role as mom, but also enjoy being a unique individual! I don’t think there is anyone who has all the answers…but I do think its great to have high ideals to aspire to as regards Motherhood.
Hi Jayshree, I love the words in your poem and it is a question that is constantly on my mind as well. I try to spend as much time with my kids, 10 ad 7, as much as possible. I hope one day I can confidently say Yes I have given my kids all the love and joy that they deserve.
Hi Mauwna
Thank you for your positive feedback. Sounds like you’re on the right track! Enjoy your time with your kids:)
Hello Jayshree, I am a mother of an only child, 17 year old Ross, and although he has been a very easy child to raise, I am of late struggling with many of those questions you have asked in your poem. Thank you for sharing it with us. At the end of the day I think I should just sit back and say thank you for the privilege I have had and leave the rest to God.
Hello Rene`
Do you mean these questions don’t go away as the kids get older?
I suppose we all just do our best on a day to day basis.
Thank you for your thoughts. You’ve got me wondering what the next few years are going to bring for me.
Jayshree
Dear Jayshree,
I am a mum to three active boys aged 13, 9 (almost 10) and two. I am lucky enough to have a husband who works hard so that we can have everything we want and most importantly I can spend unlimited time with our kids. It does not matter how old they are each needs me differently and I am always aware of have I done enough. Each night before I sleep I ask myself did I live the day to the full. Did I hurt anyone? If I die in the next instant would anyone be wanting. Therefore your poem definately hit a chord. I intend giving your poem prime postion on our fridge door, so that every morning and evening we can take stock of `Have we done enough?` Thank you.
Hi Zekiya
I am most flattered that you want to put my poem on the fridge. You sound like a wonderful mom, devoted to making sure your boys needs are met and that they are cared for daily in a home full of love! Also, sounds like you’re appreciative of your husband’s support. I do hope that your family appreciates you and cherishes you too!
Dear Jayshree Sita, thats a beautiful poem to really reflect on things! it can apply these kind of questions to all our relationships.
thanks so much for sharing it with us!
Thank you Natalie
I think you’re right- a lot of it could apply to all relationships, though I find that with the kids we are a lot more unselfish in our loving than in adult relationships, where we expect a lot more give and take, perhaps necessarily so.
Jayshree
My husband died three years ago. My daughters were 9 and 6 years old at the time. I am an attorney, conveyancer and notary public. I ran a successful business from home. When my husband and best friend died my world was shattered, financial and emotional need forced me to give up my lucrative practice and to take up employment at the University. I was forced to re-arrange my life and my relationship with my girls. I am now spending approx. 3 hours on the road and only interact with my girls for a short while each day. I also asked the same questions, have I loved them enough? What legacy would I leave behind? My girls are now 12 and 9. Three years down the line we’ve learned lessons we never thought we were capable of. My girls have learnt to become independant, and have grown in ways I never imagined. I try to make the best of my time with them. I love them as much as I can and cuddle them whenever I get the opportunit. Life is too short not to. I’ve realised its not the quantity of the time spent with them but the quality. I’ve achieved my goal if I have taught them to live for the moment, to live life with passion and love like there’s no tomorrow.
Hi Shobhna
I can’t imagine how difficult your journey has been. Through it all, I sense a courageous and giving spirit. I wish you and your girls all the best on the road ahead. Sounds like you’re doing a great job raising them! Thank you very much for sharing your story with me so honestly.
Jayshree