I read an article in the Feb issue of Woman and Home entitled, “Don’t call me a housewife, I’m a CHO(Chief Household Officer).”
I am currently a stay-at-home mom of two gorgeous kids aged 9 and 6, and interestingly my husband is the CEO of a very prestigious company. I would love to add a ‘C’ to my title.
A key message in the article indicated that “the role of housewife is not going to go away, but it’s about empowerment, and bringing challenge, enjoyment and status back to a role in decline.” This line touched a chord with me as I believe that I have experienced this very phenomenon and would like to share my story.
I have experienced a glamorous corporate career as a chartered accountant, and a second very rewarding, yet challenging career as a teacher.
As a teacher I had the opportunity to inspire young people, and contribute meaningfully to their growth and learning. I taught business studies at matric level and could use my CA experience to make lessons ‘real world’ and interesting. However, the teaching workload was immense. I also found that a lot of teaching time was lost in playing policeman in the classroom. I realised how important my role is as a parent in raising my kids to have good manners and to instill a learning culture in them from a young age.
In 2008, we had begun to build a new home, and I found myself becoming the unofficial building project manager looking after builders, plumbers, etc., an unpaid, unglamorous, super stressful role. Eventually, I let go my teaching job to focus on getting the house built. Thankfully,that experience is behind me and we now live in a beautiful home.
I chose not to return to formal teaching,being fully aware that the demands were too high on my family time.
Nevertheless, at home I sometimes felt lonely and unfulfilled. Being “just a mommy” is not very intellectually stimulating and carries no status in society. Added to this, my husband’s promotion to CEO triggered a few self-esteem issues. I asked myself, “Am I okay being just a supporting actress in the Sita Family Show?”
Anyway, I turned 40 last year and began to explore things that I find uplifting – art, writing ,reading, volunteering at schools and studying Vedanta philosophy. I also found like-minded people to team up with in these endeavours.
My Vedanta studies led me to formulating an ideal for myself. It is “To build a community of caring, creative, thinking children who will contribute to the world in a positive way with a strong self-belief as well as sound values and judgement. I have begun to work on this ideal at home, and within my community and neighbouring schools. In pursuit of this ideal, I see my own fulfillment arising whether in a formal or informal job.
Hence, I now feel at peace as I am able to fulfill that vital role of CHO (I love the term), while still following my personal aspirations and giving myself the respect I believe I am due.
Note: If you enjoyed this article, and would like to stay updated with more, you can:
- Subscribe to our free weekly Jozikids newsletter for parents in Gauteng
- Like us on Facebook
- Follow us on Instagram
9 Responses
hi Jayshree, your story is very inspirational and i can also relate to the challenges of being a mom, wife and having a career as a CA..i would also like to enter the teaching/lecturing profession, any tips for me
thanks
meg
Thanks Lali!
Thanks for the article!
When I was growing up I had this idea in my head of myself as a top executive, a career woman, a no-nonsense, have-it-all hotshot in the corporate world. To this end, I studied hard in school and then went straight to varsity and got my first real-world part-time job in my third year. I thought I was happy and fulfilled and well on my way to become the person I had always thought I wanted to be… BUT it turns out it was not who I was deep-down, but simply the ideal that society projected on a young impressionable mind of what I should be striving for.
11 months after quitting my job I fell pregnant with my first little angel girl, who is now already turning 5! This year my family grew with another baby girl whom I love just as dearly. I cannot be happier. In my mind, my body and my soul, I simply bubble with exuberance at being a stay-at-home mommy. This is exactly where I have always needed to be and I am eternally grateful that I can be here for my girls and share in their lives as much as I am able to.
And yes, you do get those days when you crave some adult companionship, when the lego blocks, the nursery rhymes and hide-and-seek just get too much. On those days I ring up some friends of mine and we meet for a coffee somewhere our kids can play and be entertained and we have a full on Mommy Play Date!
Admittedly I do still run my own business and find a lot of satisfaction in it and the interaction I get from my customers also keep me grown-up just enough.
To all mommies who are as lucky as me to be at home with their young ones – enjoy!
Thanks for sharing your story so openly Minette. So glad that you’re a happy Mom, and proud of it. I agree, society, really does bombard us with expectations, and its good to stand back and review what’s best for yourself and choose your own path.
Beautifully written! I wish more moms would realise the importance of full-time parenting (only if circumstances permit of course). We live in a society where our children are raised by nannies/maids and then we wonder why we have such troubled youth. The role of stay-at-home mom is an important role one which deserves as much respect as that of corporate CEO.
Thank you so much Vanessa!
awesome! i can relate to this as well…
Thanks Ravi. I’m a bit confused. How do you relate?
Excellent!!! I can relate to it!!! 🙂