My daughter, my heart

daughter

Scanned through her profile a few months before the big date., one of those 3D scan things.  I had a date with a  person that would become part of my life forever.  Little did I know she would be my best friend and love of my life.  Sivuyise Ofentse Ramagogodi is her name.

I was anxious and excited, mostly scared. Her mother and I had broken up, we didn’t see eye to eye. I knew nothing about love and was just not ready at all. Yes, the date was with my daughter.

The  31st July 2006, the day  I was introduced to her at Parklane clinic at 18h02, life changed, priorities changed.  I was a father to the most beautiful girl in the world. She wouldn’t stop crying. The nurses said  “ubumphika lomntwana” (did you deny paternity?) a saying used when a child is the splitting image of you.

This is about my savior that walks the earth everyday. I wouldn’t be as happy and focused without her. We both love music. Must say am pleased!

There are many challenges in our lives though. She lives 40 km away.  I never reconciled with her mother. My access is controlled. I see her mostly on weekends..

But I would never trade my life. Nothing matters more than seeing her smile when we go for ice cream, to the zoo or just “vandalizing” music shops.

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Author

Siyabulela Sekeleni

Siyabulela Sekeleni

Siyabulela Sekeleni, born and bred in the Eastern Cape, rural boy through and through. Well adjusted, very adaptable, loves music and animals. Radiohead groupie. Find him on twitter @siyabulelas

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9 Responses

  1. Hi There: I loved reading your article. My son is also in the same predicament. He went over to work in the UK for over a year to get enough money to go to High Court to gain access to his daughter. He came back and with enough money to afford an Advocate and won access. This was before the Unwed Father’s Rights came into effect. For the past 5 years he has four days a month to spend with his “Princess”. This will change when my grandaughter grows up so we also remind him that it is important to stay involved with his daughter now even if it is only for 4 days a month. We feel for you and you are going to still have many great days with your “Princess”. She is just beautiful.
    All the best.
    Elaine

  2. The pair of you are so cute…. I loved your article and I am sure that your influence in her life will not go unnoticed by her mom. Just be the rock that Sivuyise needs. You know what they say….” A girl always marries a man that is an image of her fathers heart.”
    All the best.
    Mina

  3. A true reflection indeed. Nothing ever so alike. She is adorable.
    Feeling your concerns regarding the visits. In my situation is is unforatunate as he is under my guidance however lives far from me as i reside in johannesburg and he is in Brits.Ii feel that im missing out on a lot especially when I go home and he presents me proudly with something new he has learned..so long u are coming you are playing ur part..im pretty sure she knows that u love her dearly and wish for the situation to favour you terribly very soon….all the best

  4. Wow, Im proud to say I know you bra, this was such a moving read. Almost made me want to have babies too.
    You know what, you and her mother might not see to eye-to-eye, but its clear you have made her your first priority and that is a good thing because its rare in South Africa, that a man faces up to his responsibility as most deny or run away from that responsibility.
    If all men were like you, many women would be happy mothers.

  5. Beautiful article, she will grow older and be able to decide where she wants to spend her time in future, the “only weekends” that you are getting now are an investment towards that.

  6. I am really proud of you. I knew you had this in you. Wow. I know how close you are with your daughter I just never knew that she was that far from you,I honestly thought she lived with you based on all the pictures you always send of the outing the 2 of you go on. Keep it up boy.

    PS : My husband has been fighting for access to his daughter for the passed 5 years and in the 5 years he has only seen her twice. All he gets is promises from the mother but she never fulfils them. I can see how much this has affected him in a negative way. I hope one day she(the daughter) will become a part of our lives.

  7. Beautiful read. Thanks for sending me the link, I have started my day on a positive note.

    My dad’s always been great to me and I love him dearly, my best friend indeed. The fruits of that relationship are evident everyday in everything I do. Trust me when I say, you will come to mean to her what she now means to you. I am a better human being because he has loved me. Your daughter will be too.

    I am so proud of the father you are and the father you’re still going to grow into as fatherhood has many stages, embrace all of them.

  8. Am so proud of you Mr Sekeleni, know how much you love and support your little princess…and i am almost certain she knows too.Keep it up and thanks for the fantastic piece.

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