I’ve always thought that the spouse and parent roles are different; that one could, in theory, be a wonderful partner and a not-wonderful parent.
But the longer we’re allies in the battle-and-bliss that is raising a human person, the more I realise that the man I chose is the perfect father for our daughter, because he is the perfect partner for me. And vice versa.
- You have all the words I can’t find when I’m explaining things to our little one. Whether it’s the meaning of ‘love, honour and courage’, how to express feelings of powerlessness, or why she can’t spend her pocket money every week and expect to have anything left at the end of the month.
- You give me the space, time and freedom I need to run a business and to work a full day, which I love, because it feeds me.
- You’ve made our daughter physically brave – by throwing her into the air and onto the bed or sofa, at speeds and with force that make me want to vomit.
- You don’t expect me to do any of the domestic things that I despise (like cooking/shopping), but you do keep me humble by insisting that I handle the social things you despise (like organising play dates).
- You’ve taught both of the women in your life that being different is both desirable and unavoidable.
- You saved me from myself when I was lost in the darkness of post-natal depression five years ago. You diagnosed my condition before I saw any doctor or took any medication, and you washed my hair.
- I genuinely love your parents: as people, as in-laws and as grand-parents.
- You mellow me. And I (seem to) motivate you. We’re a good match.
- Together we have created a person who is proving to be totally unlike us in so many ways and yet a thrilling combination of the best (and most complex) elements of our families.
- We are as different as two people can be, while jointly appreciating books, film, TV, food, inappropriate humour and eccentric décor.
You and I are really, really good partners in life and in parenting. I couldn’t have made a better choice (and will only trade you in when you’re 70).
Happy Fathers’ Day.
This article was originally written for Jozikids by Tiffany Markman in 2016.
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