Is it normal to mourn every time you walk past the Hot Wheels cars in Checkers? Or to feel sad any time you hear the theme song to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse?
When you see a mum pushing her trolley full of groceries while carrying her screaming child on her hip- right, no-one misses that. But the emotion sets in when you smell a powdered newborn baby, or when you drive past the gymnastics club you used to take them to or remember how easy it was when you bought them clothes and they just wore them without giving you a lesson in fashion.
These moments often trigger a wave of parenting nostalgia, reminding us of the fleeting nature of childhood.
No one tells you how much you’ll miss the little things — the toys, the tantrums, and the tiny moments that quietly become your whole world.
Parenting Nostalgia: A Throwback to the Early Years
There’s almost a sense of loss when I’m reminded of things familiar to me through my children growing up. It’s not so much the sentimentality of it but more the reality that those days slipped away so fast without me even realising.
Who knew that would be the last time I bathed my boys and dressed them in matching pyjamas, brushing their hair into a neat side path resembling a certain dictator. Who knew that would be the last time I had my daughter sat on my lap or the last time I’d play with dolls and a pink tea set. Who knew that the monster under the bed suddenly vacates the premises without notice and there’s no need for me to comfort anyone anymore. Missing the early years is like a feeling of grief, and “grief is the price we pay for love”.
I can relate to the saying “Bigger children, bigger problems”. I regret all the anxiety I had when the biggest issue was that the sleeping child would be woken up by the screaming one. Or that they only had the banana flavour of Pronutro (why even?) left at the store and we desperately needed the chocolate one. Tantrums about sandwiches cut into the wrong shape or someone’s arm touching theirs in the car are nothing in comparison to today’s worries.
Remember when you had time to read bedtime stories all snuggled up into 1 bed? When we dreaded all the sports days, parents’ meetings and market days where mums did all the work and kids took all the credit but how we teared up at award evenings in proud parenting moments.
Those evenings filled with stories and laughter are the very essence of parenting nostalgia.
Remembering the Parenting Teens Era
Even the awkward teenage years came and went by in a flash. We forget how nervous we were when our eldest started high school or how quickly we stopped having playdates with other kids’ parents around. When it became a drop off and go or wait nearby, preferably out of sight. When room doors slammed and stayed closed, tantrums turned into moodiness, and it was anyone’s guess why we constantly ran out of bodywash on a weekly basis.
I’m glad that my daughter still loves chatting to me, spending time together and watching ridiculous shows on TV that we try to predict in the most impossible ways. Being there for them when they were tired, disappointed or heartbroken, even though I wish I could have saved them from ever feeling anything negative. Now it’s a worry about driving and coming home late, about not getting into bad habits or bad company (and not being the bad company).
Parenting Nostalgia and Letting go
Witnessing all the phases of their lives thus far has been my greatest privilege. Even though I miss the days when they were babies, when they were little and cute and needy – when their needs were simple, I’m aware of the blessing it is to raise a family. I enjoy adult conversations now about world politics and being schooled about AI, about how electric cars are actually bad for the environment and opinions on over-consumerism; I enjoy sharing silly memes and videos that remind us of each other. Letting go as a parent is hard but I hope they always know who to turn to if they’re in need and pray that they will always be rightly-guided, safe and happy.
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One Response
Yes what a privilege it is Fatima to watch little ones grow and your article is just too beautiful and spot on! Thank you