Kids Pamper Parties are harmless fun, its what happens at home that matters

pamper parties kids spa blue gowns

I was rather blown away when I heard how against Pamper Parties some moms are. Part of my reaction was because this is how I make a living but I also truly believe it depends on how the party is run. It can be a fun party, that in no way leads to  the “harmful messaging” described in Danya-Zee Pedra’s article 

At the  parties we organise the girls are given a  mini facial where we put a mud mask on for about 5 minutes  with cucumbers on their eyes. We soak  and rub their feet and hands and then we paint their nails – usually just their toenails. They sit together and chatter while we are busy and giggle when we put the cucumbers on. Most of the younger girls will run out the door the second we say they can and climb on the jungle gym or play in the sand with their newly painted nails.

The girls are still little girls. They giggle, they smudge the nail polish, they play outside while they wait for their parents. We don’t talk to them about a beauty regime, we don’t suggest they come back regularly to have their nails done – we simply indulge them for 2 hours.

Getting your nails painted at a party is not sending out a message that you aren’t good enough. It is a treat that the girls love. My daughter,  Kiara really isn’t a girly girl but every now and then she asks me to paint her nails – she loves it. The polish normally gets smudged before it’s dry because she doesn’t have the patience to sit still that long but she loves sitting with me doing it.

I don’t think teaching girls that it s ok to be pampered is wrong. I actually wish my mother had taught me to take time out for myself. I don’t think rubbing their feet for them is forcing them to grow up. It is what happens when they leave the party matters.

I agree that we need to keep our kids kids for as long as possible and expose them to things that are age appropriate. I also feel that how we as parents respond plays a huge role in how our kids respond. If my child comes home with her nails done and I make a big fuss about how beautiful she looks and that she looks so much better than she did before she left of course the child is going to start feeling insecure.

Raising girls is hard especially in today’s world where dangers lurk in every corner. As their mothers we do need to do what we can to protect them from those dangers but I honestly don’t feel Pamper Parties are one of them.

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Author

Danya Pedra

Danya Pedra

Danya-Zee Pedra, a former magazine feature writer, current freelance communications consultant, virgin blogger and mother of a not at all terrible two-year-old.

4 Responses

  1. I agree with you and also find that the more girls do as little girls, the less they feel the need to experiment when they are older. I have friends who were not allowed to pierce their ears or wear make up and the moment they were out the house, they completely rebelled. My mom was not so strict and I grew up without feeling like the world owed me something. On the same token, each child is different so you need to be your own judge. No-one said raising girls was a breeze – but you can sure make it fun.

  2. I agree 100%. I also have two little girls 3 and 5, they love putting on nail polish and "lips" as my 3 year old will call it. It is harmless, we all did it when we were little with our moms. We all dressed up and played pretend. I know where to draw the line. It falls in the same catagory of teaching your child to eat healty and be active to at the end of the day be a healthy person, you teach your children the right things. And to pamper your little girl surely doesn't make her vain, a snooty snob or anything in that line. There are how every some of those "snooty" moms that will teach there girls that pampering is the only way of living as that is what they are use to, and it is those gilrs that will walk around in high heels in Sandton City at the age of 12 with daddy's credit card. Giving your little girl a pamper party, is all that it is , a PAPMER PARTY. to let them feel like little princesses for an hour or so, and of to the sandpit.

  3. I Fully agree with you. I do pamper Parties myself & the girls enjoy very moment of it & it does not take away anything of their child hood. This is something that girls love to do!

  4. I guess it depends on what you think pampering is meant for as an adult. There are those who see it as destress, there are those who see it as vanity. I would want to teach my daughter that there is more to life than her looks but then I would also never have an army party for my son.

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