The morning run of dropping my kids off at school has been at best routine and even sometimes mechanical UNTIL this morning.
I do the morning run and my wife, Lois, does the afternoon run. It has worked well for us and suits our different programmes well: Lois gets time to get herself ready for work while I drop off the kids and since she works half-day she does the afternoon run.
Our school is quite close but it is amazing what happens in that 10 to 15 minute drive. Alison would sneakily take my phone and choose a YouTube video to watch. Invariably it would be Moana, Frozen or their new favourite Claire Crosby. On another occasion as soon as we get in the car, Alison would start, “I spy with my little eye something beginning with a….. “R!” she would shout. It seems they know when you’re not “there”, not present, when they start luring you into conversations with the most arbitrary, yet serious questions or remind you of their birthday coming up.
Madison (12 in Grade 6) is dropped off first. We stop the car, fix her shirt collar over her blazer collar, help her with her heavy bag onto her back, give her a hug and kiss and some assurance that everything is going to be ok, especially if she has a test on that day. Alison (8 in Grade 3) insists that I carry her bag, walk her to her class, unpack her bag and then walk her to the playground where we say goodbye and I watch her run off. I usually stand for a minute or two until she has found her friends.
While watching her run off this morning, an 8 year old in her grade came running up to me, hugged me saying: “I wish my Dad can drop me off at school but he has to work.” It ripped my heart out. I literally had to blink the tears back. What a surreal experience! What a wakeup call to the privilege that I have to spend those precious moments in the morning with my kids.
I must be honest, I just got into the habit of agreeing to what the kids want to do in the morning. I have so many other things on my mind at times. I was aware that others may not have the pleasure I had gotten so used to and had begun to take for granted. I did not fully grasp the impact it had on them as they start their day at school and even less aware of the impact that it had on those around them who see what we do on a daily basis.
Today a little 8 year old reminded me not to take for granted the precious moments I am privileged to share with my kids on the morning run to school.
I realise I won’t always be there for my kids and have come to cherish each moment I have with them.
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8 Responses
What a touching story. This just reminded me of my lecturer’s everyday statement “Always remember that children are the heart of your career”. Therefore everything we do should be in the best interest of children.
I work with kids on a daily basis I’m a teacher. I have realized how children really appreciate their parents dropping them off and giving them that hug and goodbye kiss and that promise that I will come fetch you after school means a lot to those little ones. Parent these days are very busy that they don’t have time with their children, sometimes 10 to 15mins whilst driving to school or from school or doing homework is all they need. Its a shame these days its all left to the teacher, transport driver, after care teacher and the maid at home.
Hi Rumbidzai, thank you for taking comment and noticing the same trend. It really is a shame and sometimes not even the fault of the parents. At their heart of hearts they really would love to do it for their kids, life unfortunately happens. Perhaps its something that we should highlight to parents so that they can find their 10-15 minutes undisturbed time with their kids if they cannot do it in the mornings on way to school then in the afternoon or eve, but whatever you do find the time.
Thank you for this, my husband and I are those parents that leave at 5:30 to work every morning and we rely on my son’s aftercare to drop him off every morning and pick him up every afternoon. Recently my son developed anxiety and started crying historically when he was dropped off. I nearly went out of my mind getting that phone call every day saying he is so upset that they cannot leave him there. Needless to say, his teacher was the problem, he is in a new class now and recovering well. All I can say is that there is nothing I wouldn’t give to have been there for him in the mornings when he needed me most.
Hi Lee-Anne, thank you for your comment. I’ve come to realise that each parent does the best that they can do in the circumstances. We don’t intentionally choose not to do what our kids deserve and demand. It’s a juggling act of compromise. You are the best Mom for your son. Your husband is the best Dad for your son. All the best to you as you strive to be the best version of YOU, for your son, your husband and your family.
This moment will forever be imprinted on my mind. I thank that little girl for the reminder she gave me that morning.
This is a lovely post and so true! I had never really thought of how crucial those few minutes in the car can be for starting the day off on a possitive and encouraging note for our little ones.
Thank you Aeryn. I’m glad it resonated with you.