ADHD, ADD, diet, lack of stimulation and sometimes, well, just plain old personality are all ways to describe someone who is hyper active. Parents everywhere struggle with this behavior, not only to discipline but to understand it. A person with hyper activity means they have problems paying attention, sitting still, and keeping quiet. In most cases children with hyper active tendencies are also very clever, bright, emotional children who are very empathetic (have the ability to read emotions and feel them) and caring.
Parents, siblings, teachers and professionals may have issues with getting through daily activities, as they expect all children to “get with the program.” We have very busy lives, and it is important for everyone to get through the day with minimum stress. To help our children with hyper activity, here are a few tips to “set up for success!”
Anxiety is the biggest issue when it comes to hyper activity, as this lends to a feeling of loss of control for our clever children, and can cause issues with the most mundane day to day activities. Saying “DON’T DO THAT!” isn’t productive, and raises everyone’s stress levels, whereas saying “this is what I need you to do…” is much better BEFORE the fact. Routines take away any “guess work” children have to do and often makes them feel safer. Although they may be resistant at first, sticking with it not only teaches your child that you have control, but also teaches them what is next, and removes a lot of anxiety. In the morning, homework time, bed time, after school time, etc. are instances of when we can set up “routines.”
Visual schedules work very well for 3-5 year olds. Take a picture of each step of the morning routine, but make sure it’s only 4-5 steps long and create a visual “to do” list. Brushing teeth, getting dressed, eating breakfast, putting shoes and school bag on is a good example. When the child has finished an activity, give them a chance to see they are “done.” This not only lets them know what is expected and how to keep on track, but it also gives them a sense of accomplishment.
Sensory toys are good to keep busy hands going. Stress balls, or little maze or puzzle games can give kids something to “do.” In the car, in the shops, waiting for appointments or at restaurants. A lot of children can focus and calm themselves better when their hands are busy.
Children with hyper activity can benefit greatly from routines, goals, systems, etc. Parents who put these into place will find they have a happier child who feels safer and more in control. As with any family, discipline is going to be an issue. Please feel free to contact me if you need any assistance, and our workshops will appear on the Jozikids calendar and newsletter. I’m here if you need me
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4 Responses
What fantastic advice! Thank you Pauline
For more info on diet, supplemetation & advice regarding ADHD, contact ADHASA – The Attention Deficit & Hyperactivity Support Group of Southern Africa – (011)888-7655
Dear Rosina,
I am not a medicine pusher but I don’t shy away from it either, only your GP or psychiatrist can help you with medicine. I will say I have seen children on medication and it really changes their lives for the better. I would take your child to an educational psychologist first to see if he actually needs remedial school. Many times we find children with ADHD have above and beyond IQs, but have a hard time learning in the stiff educational environments we currently provide. If you feel or have had your child assessed already and know he needs remedial help, Japari is a good school and they are very helpful.
Dear Nozipho,
13 year olds are testing boundaries in all areas of their lives and especially at home, it is their “job.” At a certain point, parents need to let go of “disciplining” and start treating their teenagers with some mutual respect, as in it is his “job” to keep up his routine. If he doesn’t keep up his “routine,” he doesn’t get “paid.” Any privileges you provide are in your control (i.e. TV, TV Games, Phones, etc.) and if he isn’t doing his “job” being a semi-responsible person, you can deduct from his pay.
It’s absolutely his duty to test you, but you need to make sure you have very clear boundaries and consequences set up somewhere IN WRITING where he can see them. For instance, “Put clothes away when you get home” and have a consequence written there if he doesn’t do it such as “If not finished then: a. earlier bed time, b. no tv games for 2 days, etc.” I hope this helps!
I’m here if you need me!
I have a 13 year old boy,he is hyper -active and I’ve tried so much to keep to routen but he find ways and means just to push bounderies. what can I do to make sure he follow up on rounte?
is there medication that could help hyper-active child? – can you recommend remedial schools for hyper-active child?