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fatimaheadshot2By Fatima Kazee, fulltime mum to Imaad (8), Zayn(6) and Zahreen (3), part-time wife to fisherman husband Aadil. She’s addicted to sneakers anything chocolatey &  is an invaluable part of the Jozikids and Kznkids team.

 We’ve all read it in some or other parenting magazine or seen it on a parenting program.  Mum needs to look after herself first in order to give the best of herself to her kids.  Uhmmm, ya.  Easier said than done!  Where on earth do we find the time for this me-time?

Between cooking, cleaning, working, extra murals, homework, husbands and all that goes with them, and the rest of life, there really is no time.  Putting everything else first just comes naturally to a mum because that’s how it’s supposed to be.  Isn’t that what makes you a good mother?   Making sure that everything and everyone else’s needs are met with fleeting urgency (got to find that missing crayon right now).

I have tried recently to introduce some “me-time”into my life by multi-tasking, as all mothers do.  I’ve taken a magazine (that was bought a year ago and never read) to read while stting outside to watch my kids ride their bikes…. Sooo doesn’t work because I need to see my son do the same trick I’ve seen maybe a million times before and if I don’t  look at him, I’ll be nagged to  death.  So there goes that plan.  I can’t do it while I have my morning tea because I have my daughter watching IMG-20130809-WA005Mickey Mouse, and God forbid I miss an episode of that!  (Did you know that they repeat these darn programs every day?)  Showering isn’t relaxing either since I need to save time and do my bit for the earth; I shower my daughter with me.  And her Barbie and the My Little Pony…. Yep, gets a little crowded but we’re all about keeping the toys hygienically clean and minty fresh!

The only thing I have accomplished in chasing this phantom “me-time” is realising that it really is all up to me to make the time.  So maybe the Sunday afternoon stroll at the botanical gardens can be for Dad and his kids.  (After all I do recall having not brought these kids into this world all by my awesome self!)   It’s bound to be more fun without mum anyway.  And I can read the magazine or watch some mindless TV or go for the run that I’ve been promising myself to do.  I’ve also recently started a once-a-month meet up with my friends.  Sure we talk rubbish and laugh at ourselves but it’s fun.  And I’m completely relaxed so that when I return to the chaos, I mean home, I am refreshed and ready to take anything on.  (Maybe not the sudden midnight fevers but hey, mum’s still the only one that has healing powers right?)

The key thing to remember is that there’s no reason to feel guilty about wanting some time out.  Everyone needs some personal space, time away and a chance to just relax.  Not all of us have great hobbies but that doesn’t mean we’re not entitled to time alone to just do nothing.  And it doesn’t mean that we love our kids any less, it simply means that we’re giving ourselves a much deserved break so that we can be better  and more engaged at being mothers.

Now just to keep convincing myself of this and I’m home free!

Do you have any ideas on how you get to enjoy some me-time?

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