Mia-Von-Scha-kids2-150x150By Mia Von Scha, Transformational Coach, motivational speaker, children’s author, student to two Zen Masters (aka kids), avid cloud watcher and lover of life.

I remember the year my husband forgot about me. Valentine’s Day came and went. No card, no little heart choccie, no dinner out. I let it go. We’re not really into all those Cardie’s moment days anyway. Our wedding anniversary came and went. Nothing. Hmm. Ok, not so cool, but he was busy after all. My birthday came and went. Not even a cup of tea in bed or a foot massage or even a handmade card. Nothing. I lost my temper. Royally!

So when the next year came along, I decided that I was not going to leave my happiness in the hands of anyone else. I’m a gal who knows what she likes and I’m generally pretty good at getting what I want.

So for Valentines Day I bought myself a beautiful pot of mini daffodils that I put on my kitchen window and that brought me a smile every day for the next few weeks. For our wedding anniversary I booked a couples half day spa experience complete with champagne and three different massage packages. Mmm. And for my birthday I went on a road trip with a friend to a retreat in Natal and left my husband looking after the kids. It was a great year!

What I learned from my husband in the year he forgot me was that sometimes in relationships that happens. It was a hectic year in other ways and his focus wasn’t really on me at all. That is understandable, perhaps even excusable. What is not understandable or excusable is for me to forget about myself. It is actually my job to nurture me, not his. It is my job to look after my happiness, not anyone else’s.

And so, if you are feeling left out this Valentines – if you have a less than romantic partner or don’t have a partner at all – make an effort to treat yourself. In fact, make a habit of this. And let your children see you taking care of your own needs and spoiling yourself so that they learn to do nice things for themselves too and don’t always wait for the prince on the horse to come riding along and do it for them!!

Send yourself a Valentines Card telling yourself how much you love you!


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