Remember how much time you used to spend with your friends as you were growing up? They became more and more important to you as you got older and in fact, may have helped shape you into who you are today. And then life happened and you seem to have little time for yourself let alone time with friends, right?
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What most parents of school-age children can agree on, however, is that once the school holidays end, there simply aren’t enough hours in the day. Here are ten tips to help you find (some) balance if your life turns into a juggling act when the children head back to school.
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Kids of today are far more confident and challenging; they want to know everything and can prove your old wives tales wrong with a Google search. They’ll teach you how to use your new washing machine and know about the latest ruling against spanking in South Africa. Don’t be surprised to hear about politics at the supper table either.
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Would you ever consider driving your kids around without buckling them up in a seat belt? How about riding their bikes without a helmet? No, you wouldn’t. Why then are we allowing our kids to use the internet without any safety or security measures in place?
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And so it has arrived… the year my son becomes a teenager. Looking back to the time he was born, I remember how so many parents were willing to give me all kinds of advice about having a baby. (Some not so welcomed but taken nonetheless) But as they get older and reach different phases of their lives (and mine), it seems the advice runs drier. Grandparents often tell stories about when we were their age but times are so different that it’s as though we’re dealing with a new species of human.
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The idea that my baby was totally dependent on my body for those first nine very important months of his growth and development, was a major realisation for me. This little “peanut” needed to get all of his basic building blocks from me. He was going to grow from a few small grams to over 2.5 kg in the coming months. So the better my nutritional intake, the better my baby would be able to lay down the foundations of his brain, spinal cord, eyes and bones and, I’d better ensure his ability to grow to a healthy size and reach full term.
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It helps to remember that because children are still developing, they are more vulnerable to any big change (i.e. like starting ‘big’ school, moving homes, cities, the birth of a sibling). Big changes (especially if not prepared for) may easily show up in negative behaviours and/or affect their emotional security (foundation).
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When we truly contemplate death, that the possibility exists that either we or our children may not make it through today, then it starts to change the kind of questions we ask in our parenting. And questions shape our experience of reality by focusing our minds on what is important.
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Without intending it, there are many things that we do and say about ourselves that are influencing our kids. At the same time, there are many daily “building-up moments” which you can use to help improve how you feel and talk about yourself, which can make a great difference to them.
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My biggest fear has always been failure and now, with very difficult tests, I have realised that failure is part of life. It’s an intrinsic part of who we are and when we realise this, is when we embrace it. Parenting is not an island..we cannot do this alone.
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When looking for an au pair agency, your most important concerns are probably the quality of the candidates, the costs, and the reliability of the agency. But what happens if things go wrong? If you’re choosing an au pair, read this first.
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When becoming a dad, life changes. Its that simple. Your life changes. We don’t have a choice in that. What we do have a choice in, is whether that change is going to be for the better or not.
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It didn’t take too long for my 5 (almost 6 year old) to rattle off a list of what her daddy means to her and voila, this blog was born.
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