by Gina Jacobson, a wife, a mom, a leo. She works for a non-profit organisation. Is a procrastinator. Loves sci-fi, sushi, good books and Scrabble.
In our house I get in my car every morning and go to work for eight hours. My husband opens the home office, goes inside and closes the door. Paul is a WAHD or Work At Home Dad. A lot of the time he takes his laptop and sits at a local coffee shop and works. He needs to get away from the constant whining and attention seeking and thats just from our dogs, throw in an almost two year old who only wants to sit with daddy and play and you can understand the need to escape for a while. If only to be productive.
The upside for him is getting to see Aaron during the day, to listen to him chase the dogs and chatter away to his nanny. Paul is also very hands on with Aaron and has been from day one. He changes nappies, gives bottles, baths and generally does everything a mom would ‘traditionally’ do. This has created an interesting situation in our house. Aaron will only let Paul change him and put him to sleep and if he wakes up in the middle of the night, he only wants Paul to put him back to sleep. It has its up side as well as its down side. Up, I get to go back to sleep straight away in the middle of the night and I don’t change that many stinky pooh nappies. Down, I don’t have the same bond Paul has with Aaron. It is upsetting when I go to him in the middle of the night and he says “No mommy, daddy” while pointing at the door and staring straight past me. Paul also gets the biggest hugs and kisses.
Not that Aaron doesn’t want his mommy at all, he often wants to come sit on my lap and randomly runs up to me and hugs my knees. I cant help but see myself as the ‘dad’ in our family in terms of the time Paul and I get to spend with our son. I wonder if this is not how my dad felt when he spent all day at the office and came home to a child that only wanted mommy to help her. Is this how it is for more traditional families? Is it something you think about consciously or is this just how it is? Maybe we are not the only family that works like this. Tell me about your family dynamics, who is the ‘mom’ and who is the ‘dad’ and does it make any difference to you? I really really wish I was more the ‘mom’. Im going to have to keep working at it and maybe we will balance it out one of these days.