{"id":8751,"date":"2015-05-28T12:01:31","date_gmt":"2015-05-28T10:01:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/responsive.jozikids.co.za\/zaparents\/?p=8751"},"modified":"2022-09-03T13:18:33","modified_gmt":"2022-09-03T11:18:33","slug":"adhd-diagnosis-what-to-consider","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/education\/adhd\/adhd-diagnosis-what-to-consider\/","title":{"rendered":"An ADHD diagnosis, now what?"},"content":{"rendered":"

An ADHD diagnosis, what does this mean?<\/p>\n

Unreasonable. Stubborn. No wait\u2026 Obstinate.\u00a0 Impulsive. Definitely defiant. \u00a0Or maybe all of the above describe how my son is.\u00a0 He is also, when he\u2019s in the mood, humorous, witty, caring, compassionate and kind.\u00a0 He is such a bubbly little boy with an amazing gift for maths and making us laugh.\u00a0 For a lot of the time though his ways and personality have been diagnosed (by a highly qualified psychiatrist) as being ADHD with anxiety and ODD (opposition defiance disorder).\u00a0 Together with this mouthful of a diagnosis, which I may add was thrown at me after an almost 3 hour assessment; I was given a script for Concerta (similar to Ritalin), epilim and some Omegas.\u00a0 The script is still lying in my drawer, unused.<\/p>\n

I won\u2019t lie, it wasn’t an easy choice.\u00a0 Some days I feel like pulling my own teeth out, most days pulling his teeth out and other days I just crawl into bed, glad that the day is over.\u00a0\u00a0Every single thing<\/em>\u00a0is a struggle with him.\u00a0 Getting him to wake up for school, brush his teeth, wear his clothes, eat his food, tie his own shoe laces\u2026 You get the gist. \u00a0He can\u2019t play\u00a0with<\/em>\u00a0his siblings, he can\u2019t lose a game, he can\u2019t sit still and he has the memory of an elephant.\u00a0\u00a0He. Doesn\u2019t. Let. Things. Go.<\/em>\u00a0 There are feelings of resentment, frustration, guilt, self-pity and more self-pity.\u00a0 Everyone bears the brunt of the tantrums and the shouting (mine not his).\u00a0 Everyone gives in just to keep the peace which is very unfair.\u00a0 So why not just give him the medication and save ourselves the agony, right?\u00a0 It\u2019s like a magic potion, a solution in a pill, that will fix the bad behaviour.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve done a lot of research about treatment of ADHD,\u00a0 I\u2019ve met with people who have experience in this field and read volumes of opinions on the subject.\u00a0 I had moments of agreeing with each side of the argument.\u00a0 One of the things I came to realise is that ADHD can be genetic and in our case it is.\u00a0 And no surprise here, he gets it from me.\u00a0 Granted I\u2019m not hyperactive (that would be funny) but I have many of the other symptoms of ADHD.\u00a0 And therein lies the difficulty.\u00a0 It\u2019s my inability to remain calm, to be patient, to be rational and reasonable.\u00a0 To realise that he is 7 years old and that I am an adult.\u00a0 To not engage in a power struggle.\u00a0 That he is a kid and he is meant to want to push boundaries.\u00a0 That he does have difficulty concentrating and that we are both highly sensitive. \u00a0So the best person to understand what he is going through is me.<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve decided to take the alternative route, the more difficult, it-takes-longer-to-see-results route because we don’t want to fix<\/em> my son’s behaviour. \u00a0Instead we want to embrace who he is and the way he expresses himself without\u00a0using mind-altering drugs.<\/p>\n

We have some natural supplements to help with concentration and to help calm him down.\u00a0 We\u2019ve changed his diet and incorporated more exercise into his day.\u00a0 I give him time to relax and watch TV for a little while before we get onto homework because that’s what he needs.\u00a0 I admit that I tread more carefully with him than I do with my other kids, to avoid an outburst.\u00a0 I give him more time to complete a certain task and the instructions for the task are given one at a time.\u00a0 We play mind games without him knowing, to strengthen him, help him focus better.\u00a0 I\u2019ve changed my mind set and way of dealing with him.\u00a0 I sometimes feel devious because I do things in a sly way but you know what, it works.\u00a0 For all of us.\u00a0 I’ve definitely seen a change in the past 6 weeks since we started the ‘campaign’ and aside from his treatment, I think it’s because we understand him better and act accordingly.\u00a0 It\u2019s exhausting and can bring me to tears some days… but I feel wholeheartedly that I am doing what’s\u00a0best for him, not what’s easiest for me.<\/p>\n

I know that I’ve made this decision because\u00a0he\u00a0 is\u00a0only 7 years old<\/em>.\u00a0 I don’t want him to be dependent on drugs.\u00a0 He can be his true self and when he is old enough to decide for himself, he can decide if he wants to take medication for ADHD.\u00a0 I acknowledge that it is a lifetime disorder that changes its nature as he ages. I know this from experience. I also know that as his mother, as the person responsible for his well-being, that my instinct tells me I\u2019m doing the right thing\u00a0right now<\/em>.\u00a0 I know that if he had diabetes or cancer that I would weigh up options differently.\u00a0 I may change my mind at some point, can\u2019t say I never will but right now, I feel that\u00a0this<\/em> is in his best interests.<\/p>\n

This article was originally written for Jozikids by Fatima Kazee in 2015.<\/em><\/p>\n

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