{"id":868,"date":"2009-11-27T15:14:37","date_gmt":"2009-11-27T13:14:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/zaparents-blog\/?p=868"},"modified":"2022-06-21T11:11:42","modified_gmt":"2022-06-21T09:11:42","slug":"adhd-and-the-holidays","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/education\/adhd\/adhd-and-the-holidays\/","title":{"rendered":"ADHD and the holidays"},"content":{"rendered":"

Are you dreading the holidays with your ADHDer?<\/h2>\n

Does the thought of spending time with friends and family scare the bejeebers out of you?<\/p>\n

Well, if your ADHDer is anything like mine, then he (or she<\/em>) is a handful at the best of times and I don\u2019t blame you.<\/p>\n

Like me, you probably also have- or have had- a dilemma with friends and family battling to deal with your ADHDer, or struggling to understand that ADHD is a disability.\u00a0 And if you medicate your ADHDer then you\u2019ve probably also had flak for doing so. Maybe your parents or family members \u201c\u2026don\u2019t believe in ADHD\u2026<\/em>\u201d and don\u2019t agree with how you are treating the condition. Perhaps you even have close family and friends whom you haven\u2019t even told about your child\u2019s ADHD- for whatever reason\u2026<\/p>\n

The holidays make all this a lot more difficult than usual.<\/p>\n

As it is, a simple Sunday lunch with the family can be a nightmare for ADHDers and their parents. In the holidays- even if you do not actually go away- you will most likely be spending a lot of time with close friends and family over the silly-season, so you can multiply the nightmare comparison by a factor of 10, at least.<\/p>\n

You\u2019d think an ADHDer would thrive in this season of noise and colour and excitement, but what it really does is make them needier\u00a0when it comes to their demand for immediate gratification- and it makes them come across as even more hyper and disruptive than usual. ADHDers battle socially. They don\u2019t read social cues and they cannot read body language. The bright lights, colours, crowds and the pressure to meet holiday deadlines and interact socially, quickly sends an ADHDer\u2019s brain into overload. And this is when they become difficult to handle even for people who love and understand him.<\/p>\n

One of the first things that fall by the wayside when Christmas holidays start is the daily routine. You sleep late, eat later, eat \u201cjunk\u201d, shop, gallivant, visit friends and family, and in some families you no longer medicate*<\/sup><\/em> your ADHDer.<\/p>\n

ADHDers desperately need their routine and structure. When they can predict their day, and they know exactly what\u2019s going to happen and when, they are a lot more relaxed- they do best when expectations are clear and obvious. Try to stick to some kind of routine, for the whole family\u2019s sake! You could change your routine to suit a more relaxed holiday mode but do try and keep a structure that your ADHDer can see and anticipate. And perhaps start preparing your ADHDer for a slightly different set of expectations for when the holidays start and he\u2019s no longer getting up for school.<\/p>\n

Stick up a visible calendar to countdown things like the start of the holiday, the day you leave for granny\u2019s house, Christmas day, New Years\u2019 Eve and the day you leave to come home again- and take it with you on holiday!<\/p>\n

Whatever else you do- try and do your best to stick to your plans. And as tempting as it is, try not to say yes to everything!<\/p>\n

Have a look at previous holidays and try to avoid situations that have led to meltdowns before. It may mean avoiding certain situations or even ignoring some traditions- but you can make it work for your family. Make new traditions! Allow yourself to make decisions that others may not understand for the sake of having a holiday that\u2019s memorable for the right reasons.<\/p>\n

Just like when you\u2019re preparing your ADHDer for the start of a new term or school year, involve him in planning the holiday. Imagine if you yourself were told that you\u2019d be leaving on a 2 week holiday in the morning- the night before you left! You\u2019d be more than a little fed up at not knowing about it wouldn\u2019t you? Well, an ADHDer brain takes a little longer to process information like this, and even if you\u2019ve told him several times you\u2019re going away- don\u2019t stop doing so until you can be sure he has grasped it. Talk about it every night at dinner and include your ADHDer in the packing process so that he retains the information.<\/p>\n

And all through the holidays try to make sure that your ADHDer gets enough sleep and enough water!<\/p>\n

Preparation for criticism<\/h3>\n

You may also want to prepare yourself for some criticism or even disapproval from friends or family- especially the people you ONLY see at Christmas time.<\/p>\n

Keep in mind that these people do not know your ADHDer as well as you do, and the first time they see him, he\u2019ll be in his element! He\u2019ll be polite and amiable and even you\u2019ll be surprised by how well he\u2019s doing\u2026 the next time he sees these people they\u2019ll be boring and he\u2019ll be back to his \u201cnormal\u201d self very quickly. Everyone will wonder why he\u2019s such a handful today when yesterday he was \u201cfine\u201d!<\/p>\n

And if people know your ADHDer is medicated, then they will most likely tell you that they don\u2019t understand why he\u2019s medicated since they can\u2019t see a problem with him. You may want to gently remind them that they don\u2019t \u201csee\u201d any problem BECAUSE he\u2019s medicated!<\/p>\n

At some point someone will ask how your ADHDer is doing at school, or when he\u2019s going to start \u201cbig school\u201d, and we all know school is a touchy subject. If you do not share as much about your ADHDer\u2019s life with your family as I do- and believe me I know it takes a long time to reach this point<\/em>– then you might want to prepare some \u201canswers\u201d for these questions, and perhaps even rehearse some subject-change-techniques!<\/p>\n

The most important thing is that you and your ADHDer have a holiday filled with happy memories, and with enough preparation it CAN happen.<\/p>\n

You may want to read these articles too for more tips and advice:<\/p>\n

Surviving ADHD During the Christmas Holiday<\/h2>\n

Christmas Craziness: Not Just for ADHD Kids<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Reconnecting with Family and Friends<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

ADHD Holiday Help: House Rules for Children<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Avoid Holiday Havoc: Help for ADHD Children<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Happy Holidays — Really!<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

*<\/sup><\/em>this is not something I agree with, but that\u2019s another post<\/em><\/p>\n

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