{"id":8235,"date":"2014-11-10T21:53:11","date_gmt":"2014-11-10T19:53:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/responsive.jozikids.co.za\/zaparents\/?p=8235"},"modified":"2022-06-09T20:25:18","modified_gmt":"2022-06-09T18:25:18","slug":"exam-stress","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/parenting\/health\/exam-stress\/","title":{"rendered":"Exam stress"},"content":{"rendered":"

November always seems like the longest month of the year to me.\u00a0 There\u2019s the end of year functions, school prize-giving\u2019s, concerts and\u2026. Exams.\u00a0 The stress of the exams alone is enough to warrant a long beach holiday where there are no books, pens, Annie apples or Uppie umbrellas.<\/p>\n

These days\u00a0I know that I don’t\u00a0have much to stress about since my boys are in the foundation phase of school, yet I still do.\u00a0 What if my son fails grade 1?\u00a0 What if he doesn\u2019t remember that the legs of a bed are actually called \u201cvoete\u201d and not \u201cbene\u201d?\u00a0 What if he forgets how to use a number line and ends up on the wrong number!!<\/p>\n

Then I wonder whether\u00a0I\u2019m \u00a0not more stressed out then they are?\u00a0 Quite honestly, they seem to be rather calm and self-assured.\u00a0 I asked each of them how they feel about getting their reports at the end of the year and how they think they\u2019re going to fair.\u00a0 Both answered with a list of gifts I could choose to buy for them when they get their excellent reports. \u00a0Right.\u00a0 That settles that dilemma then.\u00a0 Then I had a discussion with a friend which may have helped stop the nightmares (mine that is).<\/p>\n

She argued that maybe I\u2019m stressed because I don\u2019t have faith in their capabilities or that I\u2019m more worried about whether I as a parent have done enough.\u00a0 And that if either of them come home with less than excellent results, then I would feel as though I have failed them. Or worse, that I failed as a parent because of that one day I let them watch TV for an hour instead of the usual half. (ok, ok, it happened more than once) Of course, I defended myself saying that was ridiculous and explaining that if I didn\u2019t put in the effort with them now, how would they understand the importance of getting good results later when it really counts?<\/p>\n

Bad move on my part because that\u2019s where she came at me with the \u201cYou can\u2019t make them do their best by forcing them to study\u201d.\u00a0 I\u2019m not forcing, I\u2019m just insisting that they get good grades so that they never feel disappointed for not trying harder.\u00a0 The average Joe is well, just that, average.\u00a0 And in today\u2019s times, average doesn\u2019t get you very far.<\/p>\n

The turning point came for me when she said that perhaps I was more concerned about how people around me would react to less than superb results from my kids (like the grandparents). \u00a0She suggested that I place less emphasis on their grades and rather focus more on making the process more fun\u00a0\u00a0\u2013 \u201cdon\u2019t look at the pot of gold at the end, make it a rainbow to get to the gold\u201d.\u00a0 So I\u2019ve tried it and\u2026. It works.\u00a0 Well at this level anyway.\u00a0 There\u2019s no bribery of a gift for getting a good report.\u00a0 There\u2019s no fighting about sitting with the school work.\u00a0 There\u2019s now just an understanding that when they make an effort, they get good results and that in turn makes them feel good\u2026 and may result in a small reward, like a remote control car.<\/p>\n

This article was originally written for Jozikids by Fatima Kazee in 2014.<\/em><\/p>\n

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