{"id":7685,"date":"2014-05-26T11:18:43","date_gmt":"2014-05-26T09:18:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/responsive.jozikids.co.za\/zaparents\/?p=7685"},"modified":"2022-06-20T12:18:40","modified_gmt":"2022-06-20T10:18:40","slug":"kids-and-anxiety","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/parenting\/being-present\/kids-and-anxiety\/","title":{"rendered":"How to manage anxiety"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0<\/b>Do you find that your kids become overly anxious around exam time? I love anxiety \u2013 in fact, I consider it to be a great friend \u2013 and I\u2019d like to help you and your kids to love it too. You see, anxiety is a very specific kind of fear \u2013 fear of the future. And considering the future has not yet happened, it is a fear that we don\u2019t know how to handle because there\u2019s nothing we can do about something that hasn\u2019t happened yet.<\/span><\/p>\n

What our minds are doing with anxiety is giving us a warning sign that we are thinking about something that we DON\u2019T want to happen. Anxiety is like the little red flag to help us to focus on something more positive. Now most of us are thinking incessantly and on auto-pilot and we\u2019re not often aware of what we\u2019re thinking or even that we\u2019re thinking at all. And yet our thoughts have a very direct and profound influence on how we feel. So our minds have this wonderful in-built system to help us to think about things that will flood our systems with positive, life-affirming chemicals rather than the rush of adrenaline that comes with fear.<\/p>\n

The trick here is to change the way that we view anxiety. If you can teach your kids that that \u201chorrible\u201d feeling is actually a trusted friend and to understand the language of this new friend, it will be a tool that will help them for life. Every time they feel that feeling it is a red flag telling them to go and take a look at their thoughts. What they\u2019ll find is that they are imagining the worst \u2013 in their minds they are seeing themselves failing the exam or not being able to answer the questions or the teachers setting impossible tasks or something along those lines.<\/p>\n

Step 1: understand that the future has not yet happened.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The only place that the future exists at this moment is in your own mind so you can imagine it to be good or bad \u2013 both are just thoughts in your head. You can\u2019t possibly know what is going to happen or not happen, so you may as well imagine something good.<\/p>\n

What I get my clients to do is to actually imagine themselves flying above the timeline of their lives out into the future to just past the SUCCESSFUL outcome of the event they are worrying about. This is just a trick of the mind to focus on something positive and it works wonders with kids.<\/p>\n

Step 2: label your thoughts as just that \u2013 thoughts.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Not truth, not fact, not inevitability. \u00a0Just imagination.<\/p>\n

Kids can even label the part of their mind that thinks negatively \u2013 give it a name like \u201cMoaning Minnie\u201d or \u201cAnxious Ant\u201d and talk back to it with the positive side of the mind (which can also be given a name or character, like \u201cSuccessful Susan\u201d or \u201cPositive Panther\u201d). This helps kids to realize that there is always more than one way to look at a situation and looking at the negative side is just a habit that can be changed.<\/p>\n

Step 3: \u00a0take damning statements and turn them into positive questions.
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So something like \u201cI\u2019m going to fail this exam\u201d can become a question like \u201cHow can I definitely pass this exam?\u201d Our minds respond very well to questions and tend to automatically seek out answers. So if we ask a positive question, we will find a positive solution. This also helps kids to define what they\u2019re really worried about and take action on something specific rather than thinking in generalized negative statements.<\/p>\n

And the beginning point to all of this is the anxiety itself. Like a trusted friend, redirecting us to positivity and reminding us every time we stray from being in control of our own minds. Whenever I feel anxiety I first stop and thank my mind for keeping me on track to a wonderful, positive, relaxed and happy life. I hope you and your kids will too!<\/p>\n

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