Whew! That feels so good. I feel lighter somehow.<\/p>\n
\u00a0I\u2019m self-ish<\/i>. Sort of.<\/h2>\n
And what\u2019s wrong with thoughtful notes, home-made cakes and co-sleeping?<\/p>\n
Well, nothing. I\u2019m not going to snottily inform you that I\u2019m too busy or too focused on bread-winning to do all of these lovely things; I\u2019m going to be completely honest here: I couldn\u2019t be bothered<\/i>. Or, in some cases, perfect mom-ness doesn\u2019t work for me.<\/p>\n
I had severe post-natal depression for three months post-childbirth and since then, my priority has been keeping things simple. Trying not to over-do it. Watching how much we commit to. And PND was a kind of blessing \u2013 it\u2019s given me perspective.<\/p>\n
This means that, if you offer me a choice between going to gym or baking, I\u2019ll take gym. Cuddling all night long or sleeping well? Sleeping. Screaming or the dummy? The dummy. I\u2019m a better mom to my littlie when I\u2019m exercised, rested and calm.<\/p>\n
Taking a guilt trip<\/h2>\n
But I\u2019m also trying to stave off the guilt that plagues all moms. You know, the creeping feeling that we\u2019re not \u00a0good enough, not trying enough, not doing enough?<\/p>\n
Like, the fact that, if you offer me a choice between quality time spent chatting with, reading to, walking alongside, drawing for, or even just sitting next to my daughter, and pretty much anything else on offer, I\u2019ll (mostly) choose the former. No question.<\/p>\n
For me, those<\/i> are the investments. And I\u2019m 100% committed to certain small-but-important things. Manners. Sunblock. Veggies. Kindness to animals. Good books.<\/p>\n My mom was different.<\/p>\n She created masterpiece school lunches. Helped with award-winning projects. Used a dictionary to write \u2018I love you\u2019 in Hebrew on a note that she put into my schoolbag on my 10th<\/sup> birthday (she speaks not one word of Hebrew). Organised the most unbelievable birthday parties. Wrapped schoolbooks like a professional with OCD.<\/p>\n On the other hand, she wasn\u2019t a Library Mom, a Tuckshop Mom or a PTA Mom, and she set foot on my high school campus for the first time at my Matric valedictory evening. She was a single working mom, and she invested her time carefully.<\/p>\n So when I began my mothering journey, I decided I\u2019d be like her in involvement, love and support, but like me (the pre-baby, self-ish<\/i>, workaholic, grooming-obsessed me) in certain other ways, and that I\u2019d do what works for me \u2013 and for us as a family.<\/p>\n Isn\u2019t parenting hard enough, without trying to be a Stepford mom? What do you think? What makes you \u2018perfect\u2019 or \u2018imperfect\u2019? Out with it. (No judgies.)<\/strong><\/p>\n This article was originally written for Jozikids by Tiffany Markman in 2013.<\/em><\/p>\n Note: If you enjoyed this article, and would like to stay updated with more, you can:<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n If we\u2019re being honest\u2026<\/p>\n I\u2019m an imperfect mom. How do I know this? Well, I\u2019ve never:![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/guillaume-de-germain-fgmLRBlUIpc-unsplash.jpg\")
Picking my battles<\/h2>\n
\n
\nGiven sweets and a self-effacing note to fellow plane travellers in case my kid screams all the way to our destination<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":131,"featured_media":352287,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6365","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-moms-mothers-single-mothers-being-a-mom"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6365","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/131"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6365"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6365\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/352287"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6365"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6365"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6365"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}