{"id":5004,"date":"2023-03-24T09:00:08","date_gmt":"2023-03-24T07:00:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/zaparents-blog\/?p=5004"},"modified":"2023-03-25T12:03:27","modified_gmt":"2023-03-25T10:03:27","slug":"dont-say-dont-to-your-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/parenting\/being-present\/dont-say-dont-to-your-child\/","title":{"rendered":"Don’t say DON’T to your children"},"content":{"rendered":"

Have you ever wondered why your kids do exactly what you asked them not to? It\u2019s a general complaint that parents have and yet the answer and the solution are not that complicated. The solution comes in understanding how our minds process information.<\/span><\/p>\n

Believe it or not, our minds process information in pictures, not words. Words are abstractions of information and cannot replace experiences. In other words, if I say to you I\u2019m sitting at my desk \u00a0writing on my computer, your mind will create a visual image of that based on your own experience. So all words are first translated into pictures (and again, I use this term loosely to include sights, sounds, smells, touch etc).<\/p>\n

This is why we don\u2019t process negatives well. And so, if you say to a child: \u201cDon\u2019t touch my glasses\u201d then they first need to create a visual image of themselves touching your glasses in order to process NOT touching them.\u00a0 Creating a visual of NOT doing something is much more complicated than creating an image of doing something.<\/p>\n

So, if you want your kids to do what you say, you need to tell them what it is you WANT them to do, not what you DON\u2019T want them to do.<\/p>\n

For example, if you don\u2019t want them to fall down the stairs, then saying \u201cDon\u2019t fall down the stairs\u201d increases the possibility of them actually doing that by having them create a mental image of falling down the stairs. However, if you say \u201cWalk carefully down the stairs\u201d doesn\u2019t that create a much more positive mental image of what you actually want?<\/p>\n

Keep in mind that our unconscious minds operate in exactly the same way as a 5-year old child, so if this is how you speak to a kid, then this is how you should be speaking to your own unconscious mind too. If you\u2019re constantly saying to your unconscious mind \u201cI don\u2019t want to be in debt\u201d then what you\u2019re processing is the image of being in debt, and you\u2019re more likely to create that in your life. The positive side of this would be \u201cI want abundance in my life\u201d which sends a much clearer image of what you\u2019d like to be seeing in your world.<\/p>\n

What it comes down to is this: Whether you\u2019re speaking to your kids or yourself, FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT.<\/p>\n

Be the change you want to see in your kids.<\/p>\n

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