{"id":370610,"date":"2024-02-12T09:33:11","date_gmt":"2024-02-12T07:33:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/?p=370610"},"modified":"2024-02-12T14:44:40","modified_gmt":"2024-02-12T12:44:40","slug":"bittersweet-parenting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/parenting\/moms-mothers-single-mothers-being-a-mom\/bittersweet-parenting\/","title":{"rendered":"The Bittersweet Moments of Parenting: Painful letting go"},"content":{"rendered":"

Parenting is like a series of bittersweet moments. And bittersweet is probably the type of moment I like least. It’s never in equal measure, the bitter almost always outweighs the sweet. And the joy or pride of watching your children grow up is often overshadowed by the reality of them growing up, only after the time has passed: hence Bittersweet Parenting.<\/p>\n

We get caught up. Caught up in the doing of things, caught up in the managing of things. Caught up in the everyday things but not so much caught up in the moment of things. Thinking back, it’s a bit of a blur. Milestones came and went, and continue to come and go, years merge into each other, celebrating successes and soothing disappointed hearts.<\/p>\n

The bittersweet moment of letting go<\/h3>\n

My eldest son left recently to study in a different city. I never anticipated how much I\u2019d miss him. I thought I\u2019d be glad to get rid of one (kidding of course<\/em>). It\u2019s a kind of void every time I look into his room and he isn\u2019t there, lying on his bed. It took me a few days to get used to not seeing him come out of school with his brother, walking towards me in his uniform.<\/p>\n

Not having him sit with me while I work, telling me all the stories of his day, showing me cars he found on Marketplace that we were never going to buy for him. I\u2019ve still cooked the same amount of food and now have leftovers, I guess that\u2019s a plus. But then I worry about whether he\u2019s eaten or not.<\/p>\n

Bittersweet, Worry-Mum<\/h3>\n

I worry about whether he woke up on time for his classes. Whether he locked his door and more importantly, if he took the key with him. Is he safe and comfortable, did he do his laundry and wash his dishes. It\u2019s worrying about everything I worry about with each of my children but now, from a distance. It\u2019s hoping that he\u2019s ok and not just saying that he is, so I won\u2019t worry.<\/p>\n

In fact, it\u2019s more than just a wistful feeling or concern over his wellbeing. It\u2019s the realisation that he\u2019s a grown up now. That I\u2019ll never get the chance to do the things I used to, with him and for him. It\u2019s knowing that I\u2019ll never get back those years with him and wondering whether I did enough.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s feeling regretful that I should have done more, that maybe I wasn\u2019t always present, and I should have been. It\u2019s feeling like it went too fast and I wasn\u2019t ready yet. It\u2019s wondering whether I made any impact on him as a mother. Whether he\u2019s reminded of me and home when he experiences something, a familiar smell or sound or sight.<\/p>\n

Scared and sad, but grateful and hopeful too<\/h3>\n

It’s gotten easier as time has passed but I know that I\u2019ll always love, care and worry about him and my other children, wherever they may go. It\u2019s some consolation that at least I know he has a roof over his head, he has a warm bed and access to food, water and anything he may need.<\/p>\n

In today\u2019s times and with the world in the state that it is in, I can\u2019t imagine being in the position of a mum who has lost her child\/ren, her family, her home and everything she ever held dear to her. Knowing he has a bright future ahead of him with opportunities and wonderful experiences that some children may never have.<\/p>\n

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