{"id":2520,"date":"2010-10-18T14:11:53","date_gmt":"2010-10-18T12:11:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/zaparents-blog\/?p=2520"},"modified":"2022-06-09T21:45:31","modified_gmt":"2022-06-09T19:45:31","slug":"using-values-to-raise-my-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/lifestyle\/childrens-rights\/using-values-to-raise-my-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"Using values to raise my kids"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I was once again frustrated with my 5 yr old because he did not want to get ready for school, and was wondering how best to get him to co-operate with the early morning routine. I\u2019ve tried many times to have rules that we agree on, as well as incentive plans and punishments. Somehow, none seem to have worked consistently.<\/p>\n<p>I remembered an idea in the Stephen Covey book, \u201c7 Habits of Effective Families\u201d\u2026suggesting we formulate a family vision and mission statement, including\u00a0 a set of family values to guide us.<\/p>\n<p>So, I thought that if we agreed on \u201cpunctuality\u201d as a family value, this might work better than the \u201cbe on time or else\u2026\u201d philosophy.<\/p>\n<p>I\u00a0 decided to define and agree on values together with my kids. This is what we came up with:<\/p>\n<h2>1.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Be caring and kind to each other<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>handy when kids or parents get angry and want to lash out<\/li>\n<li>help family members support each other in times of need<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>2.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Take care of our things<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>A\u00a0 way to remind kids to care for their toys &amp; books as well as the family property<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>3.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Have fun together<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>The kids idea &#8211; an important reminder to adults to see the world through their innocent eyes<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>4.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Be honest<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>so that we know that we can trust each other<\/li>\n<li>Do the right thing according to your conscience<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>5.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Learn to say sorry<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>to show empathy and not be afraid to make mistakes in relationships, but have the courage and humility to make amends.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>6.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Be punctual<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>Necessary to get to school on time<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>7.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Share work<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>So that they realize that Mom and Dad and the Nanny are not the only ones who need to work around the house, that everyone should have\u00a0 responsibilities.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>8.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Respect privacy<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>everyone needs a space to call their own, a space to retreat when feelings are hurt, and to keep their special things.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>9.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Everyone gets a turn to talk, &amp; the rest\u00a0 listen without interrupting<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>The basis of all respectful interactions and helps to understand each other, making for a harmonious home.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>10.\u00a0\u00a0 Share stories<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>Builds a family history to know about each person\u2019s day.<\/li>\n<li>Builds conversation skills.<\/li>\n<li>Keeps relationships special.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>11.\u00a0\u00a0 Learning is important<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>If kids accept this, they stay motivated to go to school, do homework and study independently.<\/li>\n<li>If they learn for pleasure, the world will be their oyster.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>12.\u00a0\u00a0 Say thank you every day<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>Allows them to appreciate all the good things in their lives<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>13.\u00a0\u00a0 Everyone is unique and special in their own way<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>Allows us to respect differences<\/li>\n<li>Allows individuality to develop<\/li>\n<li>Allows unique talents to be nurtured<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I must admit, drawing up this list felt a lot better than drawing up a list of rules. I felt great that my kids agreed to everything on the list- in fact they came up with a lot of it. I also know that agreeing on the values is only half the battle won, living by them will be the challenge.<\/p>\n<p>Bearing in mind that we all learn by experience and not by words, I guess the journey has just begun.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><b><i>Note: If you enjoyed this article, and would like to stay updated with more, you can:<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<ul class=\"ul1\">\n<li class=\"li2\"><i><\/i><span class=\"s1\"><i>Subscribe to our free weekly Jozikids\u00a0<\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/member-registration\/\"><span class=\"s2\"><i>newsletter<\/i><\/span><\/a><i>\u00a0 for parents in Gauteng<\/i><\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li2\"><i><\/i><span class=\"s1\"><i>Like us on\u00a0<\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/jozikids.co.za\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span class=\"s2\"><i>Facebook<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li2\"><i><\/i><span class=\"s1\"><i>Follow us on\u00a0<\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/instagram.com\/jozikids?igshid=1n8cwedrewul\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span class=\"s2\"><i>Instagram<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I was once again frustrated with my 5 yr old because he did not want to get ready for school, and was wondering how best to get him to co-operate with the early morning routine.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":88,"featured_media":12192,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2520","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-childrens-rights"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2520","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/88"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2520"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2520\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12192"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2520"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2520"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2520"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}