{"id":21043,"date":"2020-04-14T07:45:09","date_gmt":"2020-04-14T05:45:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/zaparents-blog\/?p=21043"},"modified":"2022-06-21T12:22:45","modified_gmt":"2022-06-21T10:22:45","slug":"positive-discipline-in-the-time-of-a-lockdown","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/parenting\/discipline\/positive-discipline-in-the-time-of-a-lockdown\/","title":{"rendered":"Positive discipline in the time of a lockdown."},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">The lockdown has interrupted the family routine and schedule.\u00a0 Parents are with their children more than usual and need disciplinary strategies for the tantrums and misbehavior that\u2019s bound to happen. \u00a0Your primary focus is to remember that you are always in a relationship with your child and you need to hold on to that relationship more than your urge to punish your child. There is no better time than now to engage in effective parenting skills that promote a co-operation from your children eventually leading to a respectful parent-child relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-size: 18pt;\">Positive discipline is all it takes<\/span><\/h2>\n<h3><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">Some tips on how to discipline<\/span><\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><strong>Punishment is not a form of discipline. <\/strong>It is a negative reaction that has damaging consequences to the relationship with your child and turns your home into a battlefield. Taking away toys, physical or verbal abuse, isolating children in a room or corners, says to children that you only want to deal with them when they are good.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><strong>Take a breath and calm yourself, <\/strong>before you react with punishment,\u00a0No one is listening when the emotions are high, everyone is reacting and being dramatic!<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><strong>Engage with your child in a non-threatening manner.<\/strong> Your tone of voice and body language must indicate that you want to hear and understand what had happened.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><strong>Talk about feelings,<\/strong>\u00a0both yours and theirs. \u00a0Do not tell your child how they are meant to be feeling.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><strong>Do not explain what has happened.<\/strong> Let them\u00a0explain it to you and LISTEN to what they are saying. Pay attention to the words they use, the tone of their voice and their body language.\u00a0 Look out for non-verbal cues of communication.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><strong>Repeat what they have told you. <\/strong>This assures them that you were paying attention and that you understood them.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><strong>Do not interrogate your children.<\/strong>\u00a0Ask open-ended questions (how, why, what).\u00a0 Do not answer for your child. LISTEN<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><strong>Explain the impact their behavior had on others<\/strong> (yourself, siblings, friends). Your child must learn to take responsibility for their actions.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><strong>Brainstorm solutions and consequences.<\/strong>\u00a0 Evaluate each solution and add a reality test. Add in the consequences (depending the age, developmental stage and maturity of your child) for instance, \u201cyou will need to help me clean up the cornflakes on the floor so that it does not mess up the entire kitchen\u201d.\u00a0 This teaches them problem-solving skills.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><strong>For younger kids, use non-threatening body language. <\/strong>Open your arms for them to come to you as verbal communication is not fully developed.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><strong>Stay close by during a melt- down<\/strong> to keep them from harming themselves. Let the melt down play out. If they are in a safe zone, sit nearby and when they make eye contact open your arms for them to come to you. Alternatively, move them to a safe space.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><strong>Let them know that you are there for them<\/strong>. If your child refuses to engage with you and goes into another room or moves away from you, let them know that you are always ready to speak to them when they want to.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-353228 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/Positive-discipline-mum-and-daughter.jpg\" alt=\"discipline lockdown\" width=\"1200\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/Positive-discipline-mum-and-daughter.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/Positive-discipline-mum-and-daughter-300x100.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/Positive-discipline-mum-and-daughter-1024x341.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/Positive-discipline-mum-and-daughter-768x256.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/p>\n<h2>Manage your reaction<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">This is not a one size fits all approach. You will need to adapt your strategies according to your child\u2019s age, maturity and developmental stage.\u00a0 To discipline your child is a parenting moment that creates experiences throughout their childhood which consequently influences their developing minds.\u00a0 So before you react with punishment, ask yourself \u201cwhat lesson do I want to teach my child\u201d. Your long-time goal is to move your child from reactionary behaviour to cultivating collaboration and co-operation when things go wrong.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">Learning to manage reactions is difficult and parents will not get it right every time.\u00a0 As a parent or care giver, when you get frustrated and lash out onto your children, this ruptures the relationship and creates confusion and misunderstanding for your children. As soon as you can, you must work on repairing that rupture. \u00a0Apologise for lashing out and explain what led to your behavior.\u00a0 You need to explain how you felt and let them know you will try to do better (I\u2019m sorry I lost control of myself, I am tired.\u00a0 Please tell me how it affected you.\u201d).\u00a0 Thus showing that you want to have a respectful relationship with your child and these conversations brings back calmness into the home.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-size: 18pt;\">Always remember<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">This pandemic has brought about a disruption that we have not seen before.\u00a0 Children will model the behavior they see and experience.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">Use this time wisely to create a new path to communicate and connect with your children that creates a respectful home environment.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">The way we parent our children now will have a generational impact on how they view methods of discipline and problem-solving. In a time of crisis like this one, we want our children to reflect and share their memories of how they got through this pandemic with their parents on and by their side.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Note: If you enjoyed this article, and would like to stay updated with more, you can:<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><em>Subscribe to our free weekly Jozikids\u00a0<\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/member-registration\/\"><em>newsletter<\/em><\/a><em>\u00a0 for parents in Gauteng<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Like us on <\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/jozikids.co.za\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><em>Facebook<\/em><\/a><\/li>\n<li><em>Follow us on\u00a0<\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/instagram.com\/jozikids?igshid=1n8cwedrewul\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><em>Instagram<\/em><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The lockdown has interrupted the family routine and schedule.\u00a0 Parents are with their children more than usual and need disciplinary strategies for the tantrums and misbehavior that\u2019s bound to happen. \u00a0Your primary focus is to remember that you are always in a relationship with your child and you need to hold on to that relationship [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":198,"featured_media":353227,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[626,112,237],"tags":[658,659],"class_list":["post-21043","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-covid-19-kids-families","category-discipline","category-positive-parenting","tag-discipline","tag-disciplining-your-kids-during-lockdown"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21043","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/198"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21043"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21043\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/353227"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21043"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21043"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21043"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}