{"id":208757,"date":"2021-02-09T08:59:29","date_gmt":"2021-02-09T06:59:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/zaparents-blog\/?p=208757"},"modified":"2022-06-04T20:16:38","modified_gmt":"2022-06-04T18:16:38","slug":"teens-and-dating-what-to-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/baby-to-teens\/teens-boundaries\/teens-and-dating-what-to-do\/","title":{"rendered":"What to do when your teen wants to start dating"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">The prospect of your child wanting to date is a little unnerving \u2013 what if they get hurt, are manipulated, get in over their head, or have their heart broken? Yet as uncomfortable or scary as it may feel, dating is a normal, healthy, and necessary part of any young adult\u2019s emotional development. In fact, romantic relationships are a major developmental milestone.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-size: 16pt;\">Too young to start dating?<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Feburary-campaign-material-02-scaled-1.jpg\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-210890\" src=\"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Feburary-campaign-material-02-scaled-1.jpg\" alt=\"teen dating\" width=\"2560\" height=\"1338\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Feburary-campaign-material-02-scaled-1.jpg 2560w, https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Feburary-campaign-material-02-scaled-1-300x157.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Feburary-campaign-material-02-scaled-1-1024x535.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Feburary-campaign-material-02-scaled-1-768x401.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Feburary-campaign-material-02-scaled-1-1536x803.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Feburary-campaign-material-02-scaled-1-2048x1070.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 2560px) 100vw, 2560px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">While some teens will want to start dating early, others will have no interest in romantic relationships\u00a0until their late teens. Both scenarios are perfectly normal and healthy. Experts agree that there isn\u2019t a\u00a0\u2018right age\u2019 to start having relationships\u00a0\u2013 every teen is different, and every family will have different views and beliefs about dating. On average, however:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">Children might start to show more independence from family and more interest in friends between the ages of nine and eleven years.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">From ten to fourteen years, they might want to spend more time in mixed-gender groups. They might meet up with someone special among friends, and then gradually spend more time with that person alone.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">Romantic relationships can become central to social life between the ages of fifteen and nineteen.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><span style=\"font-size: 16pt;\">Having the Talk<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">It is important to talk to your teen about various dating topics, including personal values, expectations, and peer pressure. While these conversations may initially revolve around treating other people with kindness and respect, it may also raise issues about sex and intimacy. When it does, be open with your teen about your beliefs around\u00a0sexual activity and, in turn, listen to theirs.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">Give your teen permission to express their views, ask questions, define what feels safe and comfortable for them in terms of dating. If your child knows that you are there to listen without judging, they are more likely to come to you with questions and concerns down the road.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-size: 16pt;\">Rules of engagement<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">Your job is to\u00a0keep your teen safe\u00a0while helping them build the skills they need to navigate healthy relationships. Here are some suggested rules you might want to establish for your child once they start dating:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">Get to know anyone your teen wants to date.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">Make it clear you need to know the details of who your teen will be with, where they will be going, and who will be there.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">Set a clear curfew.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">If your teen is going to a date\u2019s home, find out who will be there. Have a conversation with the date\u2019s parents to talk about their rules and your expectations.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">Discuss the dangers of technology. Many teens talk online, which can create a false sense of intimacy. Remind them that people they have chatted with but have never met are strangers. Teens are\u00a0also often tempted to comply\u00a0with a date\u2019s\u00a0request to send nude photos. Warn them of the consequences \u2013 they can end up hurt, shamed, and embarrassed.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">While it is essential to set clear rules once your teen starts dating, aim to offer your child at least a little bit of privacy. Here you will need to consider:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">your values, <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">your teen\u2019s maturity level, and <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">the specific situation (as well as your instincts).<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><span style=\"font-size: 16pt;\">Dealing with break-ups <\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">Dating helps teens\u00a0build vital life skills\u00a0\u2013 independence, communication, caring, selflessness, and intimacy \u2013 and promotes emotional growth. Just like starting any new phase of life, dating can be both exciting and scary! Teens will need to put themselves out there by expressing romantic interest in someone else,\u00a0risking rejection, and figuring out what exactly dating means. They often have unrealistic expectations \u2013 reality can never match the relationships in movies or books \u2013 which means that they can easily become disillusioned.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">Of course, break-ups and broken hearts are part of teenage relationships. However, this too is essential to their development, particularly in terms of learning how to cope with difficult decisions and disappointments. Whether your teen suffers heartbreak or inflicts it, they might need a shoulder to cry on and a willing ear.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-size: 16pt;\">Providing guidance<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">As with any other relationship, romantic relationships can bring many\u00a0emotional ups and downs\u00a0for your child. Keep in mind that your input and reaction as parent during this stage can have a lasting impact on their future relationships (romantic and otherwise), their lifestyle choices, and the adult they eventually become.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">Remember, the more open and supportive you are, the better. After all, if something does go wrong, you will want your child to know that you love them, no matter what.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><b><i>Note: If you enjoyed this article, and would like to stay updated with more, you can:<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<ul class=\"ul1\">\n<li class=\"li2\"><i><\/i><span class=\"s1\"><i>Subscribe to our free weekly Jozikids\u00a0<\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/member-registration\/\"><span class=\"s2\"><i>newsletter<\/i><\/span><\/a><i>\u00a0 for parents in Gauteng<\/i><\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li2\"><i><\/i><span class=\"s1\"><i>Like us on\u00a0<\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/jozikids.co.za\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span class=\"s2\"><i>facebook<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li2\"><i><\/i><span class=\"s1\"><i>Follow us on\u00a0<\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/instagram.com\/jozikids?igshid=1n8cwedrewul\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span class=\"s2\"><i>instagram<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The prospect of your child wanting to date is a little unnerving \u2013 what if they get hurt, are manipulated, get in over their head, or have their heart broken? Yet as uncomfortable or scary as it may feel, dating is a normal, healthy, and necessary part of any young adult\u2019s emotional development. In fact, romantic relationships are a major developmental milestone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":201,"featured_media":210891,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[204],"tags":[857,856,404],"class_list":["post-208757","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-teens-boundaries","tag-romance","tag-teenager-dating","tag-teens"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/208757","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/201"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=208757"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/208757\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/210891"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=208757"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=208757"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=208757"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}