{"id":20694,"date":"2022-03-20T23:04:48","date_gmt":"2022-03-20T21:04:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/zaparents-blog\/?p=20694"},"modified":"2022-05-09T18:10:33","modified_gmt":"2022-05-09T16:10:33","slug":"a-mothers-guilt-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/parenting\/moms-mothers-single-mothers-being-a-mom\/a-mothers-guilt-2\/","title":{"rendered":"A Mother’s Guilt"},"content":{"rendered":"

Too busy mum – a mother’s guilt<\/span><\/h2>\n

Picture this \u2013 you\u2019ve had a rough morning, work emails for days, you still need to do the grocery shopping, cooking and you need to see to the guy who\u2019s come to fix your garage door that has succumbed to loadshedding schedules that never really stick to the schedule.\u00a0 You\u2019re on your way to fetch the kids from school and you can just imagine the bickering that\u2019s going to take place on the way home.\u00a0 So you turn the radio on to tune out the bickering which means you\u2019re not chatting to them about their day. Why? Because you just can\u2019t, not today. And there it is. A mother’s guilt<\/span><\/p>\n

Too relaxed mum – guilty mum<\/span><\/h2>\n

So maybe it\u2019s not every day that this happens and you\u2019re allowed to not be in the mood sometimes.\u00a0 The problem is that mums (and I know that this is all mums) suffer from a Mother’s guilt all the time<\/em>. I\u2019ll be honest; I\u2019m a pretty soft parent.\u00a0 I let my kids get away with attempted murder (Of each other that is).\u00a0 We have certain boundaries that I know I will never allow to be crossed but for the most, I feel like I\u2019m not that stern with them.\u00a0 Thankfully they aren\u2019t really murderers and get away with screen time instead of chores, or we\u2019ll end up baking cookies instead of doing homework. It all gets done somehow so I figure that it doesn\u2019t matter in the bigger scheme of things. But then I feel guilty because I don\u2019t have stricter boundaries and I wonder how they\u2019ll learn responsibility that way.<\/span><\/p>\n

Feeling like an unfair mum – a mother’s guilt<\/span><\/h2>\n

Kids can be manipulative too. I honestly don\u2019t remember when my eldest son was given a phone but my middle son won\u2019t let me hear the end of how he doesn\u2019t have one yet.\u00a0 Or how one of them got a really cool bike and the other 2 didn\u2019t.\u00a0 They fail to see the hundred other things each of them have that the others don\u2019t (like obscenely expensive branded sneakers). And so the guilt rears its ugly head again. Maybe I have been unfair? Or, maybe I\u2019m remembering things wrong? Is it possible that I really didn\u2019t make him pancakes that one time in June 2009?<\/span><\/p>\n

The overthinking mum – guilty mum<\/span><\/h2>\n

And my mother’s guilt goes on. I really shouldn\u2019t be going out with my friends. Maybe I don\u2019t really need that new outfit.\u00a0 And, maybe I don\u2019t do enough for kid 2 and 3? Maybe I should wake up earlier so I can properly braid my daughter\u2019s hair\u2026 on and on it goes. And then maybe, just maybe, I should stop overthinking everything and realise that whether I do or not, things will happen as they are meant to.\u00a0 That no mum has it all figured out and we\u2019re all struggling for time. And that I am blessed enough to be able to do most of the things I do for and with my kids and that they will turn out just fine. Guilt or no guilt.<\/span><\/p>\n

This article was originally written for Jozikids by Fatima Kazee in 2020.<\/em><\/p>\n

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