{"id":18606,"date":"2022-05-01T12:18:24","date_gmt":"2022-05-01T10:18:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/zaparents-blog\/?p=18606"},"modified":"2022-05-02T16:09:25","modified_gmt":"2022-05-02T14:09:25","slug":"busy-moms-reasons-busyness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/parenting\/moms-mothers-single-mothers-being-a-mom\/busy-moms-reasons-busyness\/","title":{"rendered":"Busy Moms: The Real Reason for all the Busyness"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Good luck to the dad who comes home from a long day only to ask the mom of his kids if she actually did anything that day. There can only be wrath waiting at the other end of that sentence! Because that long list of <em>everything<\/em> us moms have to do is pretty epic. As busy moms our lives are not only about getting through our own stuff, but it\u2019s also about getting through the stuff of others too. Most of the time we embrace the busyness as something we bought into. And so we do it all with a smile on the dial. But then there\u2019s that nagging voice; the one that quietly complains about all that busyness. There exists a part of us that feels resentful at all the rush. But what if being busy was more than a burden? What if busyness was\u2026(dare I say it)\u2026an excuse?<\/p>\n<h2>Isn&#8217;t busyness a necessity?<\/h2>\n<p>Maybe. There are definitely (reality-based) reasons why we are forever out-and-about:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Transporting our kids from A to Z<\/li>\n<li>Working<\/li>\n<li>Thinking about the week ahead<\/li>\n<li>Buying groceries<\/li>\n<li>Problem-solving at school meetings<\/li>\n<li>Planning meals<\/li>\n<li>Admin and other grown-up responsibilities<\/li>\n<li>And so the list continues\u2026<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>But then there is that other side to it: Have you ever noticed how when a song is stuck in your head, you aren\u2019t thinking about anything else except for that song? It drowns out something very important\u2026 your thoughts. Busyness is a bit like that. So long as you are busy, you are not thinking about anything besides what\u2019s next on the to-do list.<\/p>\n<h2>Does busyness have a big pay-off?<\/h2>\n<p>Imagine if we got paid to raise our kids. Like a real job. And I\u2019m not talking about getting softer income like an extra cuddle at pick-up time. Nice as that is, a hug hello is most likely to be coupled with the next thing to do on the list (like \u00a0&#8220;Hi mom, what\u2019s for lunch?\u201d)Which got me wondering about what other pay-offs we might get out of being busy moms.<\/p>\n<h3>Busyness blocks out the opportunity to really address the life we are living and how happy we actually are living in it.<\/h3>\n<p>In Bren\u00e9 Brown\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodreads.com\/book\/show\/13588356-daring-greatly\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><em>Daring Greatly<\/em><\/a>, she talks about numbing behaviors that guard us against vulnerability. Like a drug she explains, \u201cOne of the most universal numbing strategies is what I call <em>crazy-busy<\/em>. I often say that when they start having 12-step meetings for busy-aholics, they\u2019ll need to rent out football stadiums. We are a culture of people who\u2019ve bought into the idea that if we stay busy enough, the truth of our lives won\u2019t catch up with us.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2>Facing what you really feel<\/h2>\n<p>So the next time you find yourself with 5 minutes to spare, notice if you are really able to sit with yourself, or if you rather find yourself reaching for Facebook to fill up that time. I\u2019m not going to lie to you, in the stillness, you might find a bunch of things that you don\u2019t really WANT to know about. Questions like:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Am I happy with my Lot?<\/li>\n<li>Will I be loved if I am not overachieving?<\/li>\n<li>Am I uncomfortable being bored?<\/li>\n<li>Is work just a good excuse to get away from my kids for a while?<\/li>\n<li>Am I just\u00a0 an average Jo?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>All these nagging thoughts are not easy to hear. But in the same way that airplane emergency procedures call for you to put on your own oxygen mask before you help your children, the same applies to our emotional well-being.<\/p>\n<h3>We can\u2019t be there for our kids if we are not there for ourselves first.<\/h3>\n<p>So where to from here for busy moms? The first (and most important) step is to notice your own avoidance. Then the good news is that there are things you can do to settle the voices:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Try meditation.<\/li>\n<li>Take up yoga.<\/li>\n<li>Open up to your friends.<\/li>\n<li>Consider journaling in the morning or evening.<\/li>\n<li>And of course, there is my personal favorite \u2013 some good old-fashioned Psychotherapy. Having someone to download with, helps you digest things.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>These are all great ways to give your persistent thoughts a helpful place to go. So beyond gifts and hugs this Mother\u2019s Day, I wish each of the busy moms out there the most important thing of all: 5 minutes to breath\u2026 and a reliable outlet.<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Note: If you enjoyed this article, and would like to stay updated with more, you can:<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><em>Subscribe to our free weekly Jozikids\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/member-registration\/\">newsletter<\/a>\u00a0 for parents in Gauteng<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Like us on\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/jozikids.co.za\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">facebook<\/a><\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Follow us on\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/instagram.com\/jozikids?igshid=1n8cwedrewul\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">instagram<\/a><\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Busyness blocks out the opportunity to really address the life we are living and how happy we actually are living in it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":245,"featured_media":18610,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[414,415,416,34],"class_list":["post-18606","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-moms-mothers-single-mothers-being-a-mom","tag-busy-moms","tag-busyness","tag-me-time-for-moms","tag-mothers-day"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18606","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/245"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18606"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18606\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18610"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18606"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18606"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18606"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}