{"id":1699,"date":"2010-05-04T20:46:45","date_gmt":"2010-05-04T18:46:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/zaparents-blog\/?p=1699"},"modified":"2022-06-22T11:17:03","modified_gmt":"2022-06-22T09:17:03","slug":"with-love-to-my-xhosa-african-queen-mother","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/parenting\/moms-mothers-single-mothers-being-a-mom\/with-love-to-my-xhosa-african-queen-mother\/","title":{"rendered":"With love to my Xhosa African Queen Mother"},"content":{"rendered":"

My mother, born on Christmas eve 1953. Parents: Robert and Persis Cakata. Superwoman some might call her. I know that I certainly would. She\u2019s a woman I love and respect deeply. Here\u2019s a long overdue letter with love from a regular \u2018dude\u2019, to my Xhosa African Queen Mother:<\/p>\n

Dear Mama (Zalisa Sekeleni),
\n\u201cCan\u2019t\u201d – a word that I have never heard you say. \u201cYou live and learn\u201d? Yes, those are also your words.<\/p>\n

I know a lot of wonderful mothers, none that could manage two jobs, day and night the way you have and continue to do, as a radiographer by day and a doctor\u2019s assistant after hours.<\/p>\n

Among your awesome feats is giving birth to and raising 6 strong grown-up young individuals, Bongani, Thandile, Siyabulela (myself), Bukiwe, Banele, and Loyiso Sekeleni;<\/p>\n

I know I was really unruly, breaking stuff, losing house keys, that you nearly had a heart attack the day I stuck a live electric wire in my mouth when I was 5 years old.<\/p>\n

Then when I was about 10 years old, we lived in a small village (your home) in Centane on the Transkei coast where you worked at a hospital close by. We had to fetch water from the river and wood from the forest to make a fire.<\/p>\n

When I had a child out of wedlock you weren\u2019t pleased, I know this\u00a0 because all you said was “uqale ngeyokugqibela” (meaning:\u00a0 you jumped to last step).\u00a0 You still supported me all the way even though you had hoped I would know better, as my sister was already an example. That’s the only time I felt I disappointed you.<\/p>\n

When my daughter was born you travelled all the way to Johannesburg to make amends with their family. Since then you\u2019ve visited my daughter a couple of times and are always a call away if I need you. You\u2019re even prepared to take time off work to help me..<\/p>\n

When we disagree, you know just how to let me know that you think I am talking drivel. The rules are clear. You listen, you consider, and you make a decision. No two ways about it<\/p>\n

I live alone now, and I\u2019m proud to say that my place reflects the lessons you have taught me: cleanliness, warmth, a spirit of content. I\u2019ve also learnt compassion and compromise (though of course some might not agree. LOL!).<\/p>\n

Happy Mother\u2019s Day Mamtipha!<\/p>\n

One more thing before I\u2019m out: If it\u2019s true what they say about every man looking for the reflection of his mother in a partner, then I must say, jokingly of course (don\u2019t run away now ladies \ud83d\ude09 the women out there might not stand a chance.<\/p>\n

P.S. Am sure my mama wonders when I am getting married though!!<\/p>\n

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