{"id":1651,"date":"2010-04-30T12:42:28","date_gmt":"2010-04-30T10:42:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/zaparents-blog\/?p=1651"},"modified":"2022-06-09T20:50:13","modified_gmt":"2022-06-09T18:50:13","slug":"the-rainbow-child-and-her-paper-mom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/parenting\/adoption\/the-rainbow-child-and-her-paper-mom\/","title":{"rendered":"The rainbow child and her paper mom"},"content":{"rendered":"

I never ever imagined myself as a mother. Growing up with four brothers, three of them younger than me, meant I had my fair share of bottles, nappies, homework, bedtime stories and all the things big sisters do. My studies and career came first for a long time and the men I dated weren\u2019t interested in having kids. Then the biggest drawback of all: I never felt \u201cgrown-up enough\u201d to take on the responsibility of my own child. The year I went overseas with my two nephews, the year that inspired my first children\u2019s book, I suddenly had this desire to adopt a child. Not give birth, please note, but adopt some little mite who needed a home. Two weeks in Egypt with my nephews aged 10 and 12 were enough to rid me of any maternal feelings and make me decide to just stick to being a good aunt. I had changed my mind about children.<\/p>\n

About three months after this trip, I had a visit from a domestic worker who had worked for me a few years back\u2014she had a problem. She arrived with her daughter Mabel, now aged eleven. I remembered Mabel as an enchanting child aged six, all arms and legs and a big smile. But I got married, Josephine left my employ, and we didn\u2019t see each other for another five years. Josephine came straight to the point and asked me to foster Mabel so she could get a better education.<\/p>\n

Thinking for the briefest of nano-seconds that \u201cnothing would change,\u201d I said yes. Of course, everything changed. I developed maternal feelings worthy of a lioness guarding her cubs from danger. I also became an expert on the shortcomings of our ever-changing education system, the life-cycle of any insect, reptile, or bird you care to mention, and in anything to help my foster child get an education. Mabel had already failed Grade 2, was advised to repeat Grade 4, and was basically illiterate. How is that possible, I asked myself? I began the slow and often painful task of teaching her all over again, supplemented by many extra lessons.<\/p>\n

Mabel baulked at first, having never had to apply her mind or develop motivation. She\u2019d been told so many times she was a failure\u2014what else was there to look forward to? Eight years later, she is scoring 70-80% in most of her subjects, plans to be a writer (just like me!) and is an amazingly well-adjusted, charming, sunny-tempered young lady with a delightful sense of humour. She is a credit to her mother, Josephine, and to me, her Paper Mom (as she calls me, since I am legally her \u2018mom\u2019 on paper). I adopted Mabel in February 2009 at the specific request of both her parents, since they believe that with me she will \u201chave a real life.\u201d Those are her mother\u2019s words, one of the bravest women I have ever known, for who else but a brave and unselfish woman would willingly give her child to someone else for that child\u2019s sake.<\/p>\n

Mabel completed her Matric with flying colours and is enrolled in a 3-year media and journalism course at Boston College. My mother passed away recently and she was, as Mabel says, \u201cthe only gran I ever had.\u201d My daughter was a rock of strength during Mom\u2019s illness. Always helpful, ever-loving, and making my mom feel appreciated and special all the time. Mabel has a mighty heart, filled with love and I am proud to be her mother. Mabel has grown into a beautiful young woman, as you can see from her Matric dance photo.<\/div>\n
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