{"id":15967,"date":"2018-05-29T14:27:11","date_gmt":"2018-05-29T12:27:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/zaparents-blog\/?p=15967"},"modified":"2022-06-09T19:44:58","modified_gmt":"2022-06-09T17:44:58","slug":"raising-kids-in-the-21st-century","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/parenting\/moms-mothers-single-mothers-being-a-mom\/raising-kids-in-the-21st-century\/","title":{"rendered":"Raising kids in the 21st century"},"content":{"rendered":"

I remember when I was a little girl, in the 80s.\u00a0 We used to play for hours in the streets with our friends, until my mom or grandmother had to call me in because it was getting dark. Climbing the neighbour\u2019s tree and onto his roof to see what we thought was the rest of the entire country.\u00a0 Street soccer where the boys always cheated the girls into believing that they were better.\u00a0 \u2018Elastics\u2019 and hop-scotch.\u00a0 I even recall one time when 3 of us decided to climb into the yard of the only aunty on the street that had a pool.\u00a0 She wasn\u2019t home so we made ourselves at home, towels laid out, splashing around in her pool.\u00a0 She came home of course to find us there and it was complete pandemonium!\u00a0 I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve ever scaled a wall that fast in my life\u2026 or ever needed to after that!<\/p>\n

So coming back to 2017 I can tell you one thing for sure \u2013 kids of today are a whole different kettle of fish.\u00a0 Not only do they need to be stimulated every hour of every day but they also nag\u2026 a lot! When we were little we were just given one disapproving look and we would be timid little puppies sitting quietly without any further eye contact.\u00a0 Today its arguments and explanations and the simple \u201cbecause I said so\u201d doesn\u2019t work anymore.\u00a0 Kids are far more confident and challenging; they want to know everything and can prove your old wives tales wrong with a Google search.\u00a0 They\u2019ll teach you how to use your new washing machine and know about the latest ruling against spanking in South Africa.\u00a0 Don\u2019t be surprised to hear about politics at the supper table either.<\/p>\n

What fascinates and can frustrate me sometimes is how different each child is.\u00a0 It certainly is true when they say that each child comes with his or her own personality.\u00a0 As parents we try to treat each one equally and in many respects, this works.\u00a0 Equality in chores, in spending money, in play dates with friends and scoops of ice-cream on the weekend.\u00a0 But when it comes to the emotional needs of each child, this is something of a learning process.\u00a0 A journey to discovering your child and yourself and one that will have you in bitter tears, filled with joy, wanting to pull your hair out and changing your perspective on life;\u00a0 all in a day.<\/p>\n

In fact, I don\u2019t think parents of our time were as in tune with emotional development.\u00a0 No one thought hard about how to phrase things so that their child wouldn\u2019t be negatively impacted.\u00a0 \u201cWhen I die then you\u2019ll know\u201d was a common threat to lazy children in Indian households.\u00a0 Parents weren\u2019t hovering around to see that their precious nugget wasn\u2019t bullied on the playground or rather, waiting to pick a fight with the child who inadvertently pushed your child while sliding down the slide.\u00a0 Kids were much freer and it helped make them all the more independent.\u00a0 Today, turn to that same Google and you will be bombarded by parenting advice, how-to\u2019s about every stage of your toddlers life, do\u2019s and don\u2019ts regarding your teenager and whether breast really is best.<\/p>\n

Honestly, when I think of my 3 kids, they are each worlds apart in personality and their emotional needs.\u00a0 No amount of research can properly prepare any parent.\u00a0 My eldest is a thinker, passive and a good sport.\u00a0 He is willing to try new things, reads books at a phenomenal rate and is naturally excellent in academics.\u00a0 This could be as a result of me spending loads of time reading to him even when he was still in nappies.\u00a0 My second and middle child is impulsive, a real live wire, witty and mischievous.\u00a0 He is resolute in his pursuit for sibling fairness and justice (usually because he gets scolded the most and rarely isn\u2019t the culprit).\u00a0 He is compassionate and has a kind heart but also wants what he wants, by all means necessary!\u00a0 It takes an immense amount of patience to deal with him and homework or studying. He has the potential to invent something life-changing if he puts his mind to it or to become an advocate for a people that need him.<\/p>\n

Then my little girl, the one that receives the most attention for various reasons.\u00a0 She is strong-willed, a premature baby who won\u2019t let an idea go.\u00a0 She has an inquisitive mind, often leaving me speechless with the type of questions she asks.\u00a0 She is the apple of her father\u2019s eye, talkative and energetic.\u00a0 At seven years old she is a determined little person who I hope will one day become a leader for all the right reasons.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s taken me a good few years to figure this parenting thing out and still, I learn each day.\u00a0 The way I handle situations with my children changes from day to day.\u00a0 And sometimes I think I get it wrong, other times I still doubt about whether I did the right thing.\u00a0 All I hope and pray for is that each of my children grows up to be well-rounded, emotionally secure individuals who know who they are and what they believe in.\u00a0 That they realise what their ultimate goal in life is and what they need to strive for.\u00a0 And that in the end, I did a good enough job with them so that I may also reap the rewards of raising good, kind, caring, thoughtful, non-judgmental and content human beings who will contribute to the good in this world.\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

This article featured in a new book that was recently published called<\/p>\n

SAFFRON a collection of personal narratives by Muslim Women, edited by Dr Zaheera Jina and published by African Perspectives<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Click here<\/a> to purchase the book online directly from the publisher or you can find it at selected Exclusive Books stores.<\/p>\n

This article was originally written for Jozikids by Fatima Kazee in 2018.<\/em><\/p>\n

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