{"id":15057,"date":"2017-08-31T12:36:45","date_gmt":"2017-08-31T10:36:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/responsive.jozikids.co.za\/zaparents\/?p=15057"},"modified":"2022-08-11T11:27:51","modified_gmt":"2022-08-11T09:27:51","slug":"preparing-our-kids-for-big-changes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/parenting\/positive-parenting\/preparing-our-kids-for-big-changes\/","title":{"rendered":"10 tips for preparing our kids for big changes"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-size: revert; color: initial;\">Kids seem to be such a marvellous mystery &#8211; on the one hand, resilient and naturally adaptable to change; yet also highly sensitive and easily affected by everything that happens. \u00a0Since\u00a0they are still developing, they are more vulnerable to big changes. It\u2019s not only a separation, divorce or remarriage that marks a major change for a child.\u00a0 Big changes include &#8211; moving homes or cities, the birth of a brother or sister, changing schools and even starting a new grade.\u00a0\u00a0 All of these can deeply affect them, sometimes even damaging their developing self-esteem. By understanding this, and preparing them in advance for the changes that lie ahead, you help them manage the stress of the change, and everyone ends up coping better!<\/span><\/p>\n<h2>How kids cope depends on<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>their age and personality;<\/li>\n<li>how much change they&#8217;ve already experienced;<\/li>\n<li>how well prepared they were for the change;<\/li>\n<li>your reaction, responsiveness and support before, during and after the change.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>We\u2019ll know they\u2019re not coping well with the change when their behaviour starts to change a lot (e.g. more attention-seeking; demanding; poor grades, changes in sleep, concentration etc.)<\/p>\n<p>Big changes can be both exciting <em>and <\/em>stressful for our kids, so preparing them in words in advance really does wonders for them to cope with, and even enjoy the change when it happens.<\/p>\n<h2>Top 10 tips<\/h2>\n<p>1. <strong>constantly put yourself in their shoes<\/strong> (ask yourself \u201chow would I feel if I was him?\u201d)<\/p>\n<p>2. <strong>talk about it<\/strong> &#8211; by discussing the upcoming change it offers kids a healthy way to let out their feelings\u00a0 (older children may prefer to write about how they are feeling in a journal)<\/p>\n<p>3. <strong>keep them involved<\/strong> and\/or informed in the preparations \u2013 this helps them feel more safe and builds the bond between you and them<\/p>\n<p>4. <strong>give them extra reassurance<\/strong>, love and affection \u2013 in times of change our kids need us to be there for them even more than usual<\/p>\n<p>5. <strong>answer all of their questions honestly<\/strong> \u2013 it hurts kids more when we avoid answering or come up with \u2018white lies\u2019 to hide the real truth<\/p>\n<p>6. <strong>acknowledge their fears<\/strong> \u2013 change can be very scary; instead of ignoring their fears, allow them to think about and even make a list of what they are most afraid of (this way you can tackle each fear one by one).<\/p>\n<p>7. <strong>encourage them<\/strong> to find the positives (once fears have been named) \u2013 all changes can be both exciting and frightening depending on what you focus on<\/p>\n<p>8. <strong>expect them to have a range of feelings<\/strong> \u2013 mixed feelings are very common when faced with big changes (e.g. excited and anxious)<\/p>\n<p>9.\u00a0<strong>be patient<\/strong> \u2013 give them time to adjust (some children need a lot more time to settle after a big change than others)<\/p>\n<p>10.\u00a0<strong>take care of your own emotions<\/strong> \u2013 our kids cope best when we are coping well<strong><br \/>\n<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>By preparing our kids for life changing events, we are helping them to cope far better with the change, and teaching them that there are healthy ways to adjust to whatever life throws at them.<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Note: If you enjoyed this article, and would like to stay updated with more, you can:<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><em>Subscribe to our free weekly Jozikids\u00a0<\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/member-registration\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><em>newsletter<\/em><\/a><em>\u00a0 for parents in Gauteng<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Like us on <\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/jozikids.co.za\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><em>Facebook<\/em><\/a><\/li>\n<li><em>Follow us on\u00a0<\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/instagram.com\/jozikids?igshid=1n8cwedrewul\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><em>Instagram<\/em><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By preparing our kids for life changing events, we are helping them to cope far better with the change, and teaching them that there are healthy ways to adjust to whatever life throws at them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":163,"featured_media":15071,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[237],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15057","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-positive-parenting"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15057","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/163"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15057"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15057\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15071"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15057"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15057"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15057"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}