{"id":14770,"date":"2017-06-12T15:34:13","date_gmt":"2017-06-12T13:34:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/responsive.jozikids.co.za\/zaparents\/?p=14770"},"modified":"2022-06-15T21:47:27","modified_gmt":"2022-06-15T19:47:27","slug":"reflections-on-dad-hood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/parenting\/fatherhood\/reflections-on-dad-hood\/","title":{"rendered":"Reflections on Dad-hood"},"content":{"rendered":"

Always being one to seek out new experiences (sometimes at painful costs), the one thing I always wanted to do and be, was a family man. Some deep memory had ingrained in me that there would be a home filled with warmth, a loving better half and a brood of offspring who would progress from inquisitive little terriers to invaluable adults, who would set in motion empowerment, justice, knowledge and goodness to the entire planet.<\/p>\n

I wouldn\u2019t make the same mistakes that the teenage me judged my parents to have made. I would do things differently. Those were the idealistic thoughts of a young man who didn\u2019t have a clue what it took to walk in the shoes of his parents and the many silent sacrifices that were made by them in order to raise him.<\/p>\n

After a marriage of 13 years and three amazing kids, here are some of my reflections:<\/p>\n

Embrace change<\/h2>\n

When becoming a dad, life changes. We don\u2019t have a choice but we can choose whether that change is going to be for the better or by embracing change\u00a0and adopting these 4 crucial practices.<\/p>\n

1. self evaluation
\n2. adaptability
\n3. a willingness to learn
\n4. desire to change<\/p>\n

You\u2019re also occasionally faced with the real danger of multiple personality disorder as you find yourself playing good cop bad cop \u2013 by yourself!<\/p>\n

Managing culture<\/h2>\n

Culture plays a huge part in your development as a dad and a parent. \u00a0While there are some valuable wisdoms we learn from our elders, there are some\u00a0\u00a0cultural influences that you want to make sure you leave as far behind as possible! Given my cultural background, imagine the alarm with which the alien concept of single dad-hood is met in many quarters, with the (well intended) primary concern being that of starvation for the kids. My girls have managed to turn that alarm into wonderment \u00a0when people are informed that dad actually cooks and does a pretty decent job at it, while seeing to the rest of the house and earning an income in between all of that.<\/p>\n

Your actions speak louder than your words
\n<\/strong><\/h2>\n

I\u2019ve been blessed to be able to understand that we as adults have a thing or two to learn from these growing and ever curious little people and that it is simple and sincere. If you need something to be said like it is, a kid will gladly do that! \u00a0Not because he or she is unconcerned about others feelings but because that\u2019s the truth of the matter. Much to the red-faced embarrassment of parents close by! Watch what you do and say around your kids folks.<\/p>\n

Mindfulness<\/h2>\n

The major overarching factor in dad-hood for me though, is mindfulness.
\nMindful of the fact that it starts with me.
\nMindful\u00a0 of my words and actions and their impact.
\nMindful of my manner and character towards others.
\nMindful of my approach and reaction to situations.
\nMindful of what I expose my kids to.
\nMindful of their emotions, thoughts and ideas.
\nMindful of their individual uniqueness.
\nMindful of their uncomplicated perspectives.
\nMindful of other kids.
\nMindful of others.<\/p>\n

Mindfulness in virtually everything because there are constant eyes watching to see what I do rather than do as I say.<\/p>\n

This single dad-hood is a roller coaster ride and it will push you to the limit. Equal to that if not more rewarding is the wonderfully rich journey with young hearts and minds placed in your care.<\/p>\n

Respect to all the single dads (and mums) who pursue this most noble of professions with love and dedication. You can do this without sacrificing yourself in the process!<\/p>\n

Note: If you enjoyed this article, and would like to stay updated with more, you can:<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n