{"id":13699,"date":"2023-02-28T06:21:37","date_gmt":"2023-02-28T04:21:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/responsive.jozikids.co.za\/zaparents\/?p=13699"},"modified":"2023-03-01T11:57:41","modified_gmt":"2023-03-01T09:57:41","slug":"whats-old-enough-to-do-household-chores","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jozikids.co.za\/blog\/parenting\/teaching-resilience\/whats-old-enough-to-do-household-chores\/","title":{"rendered":"When are kids old enough to do household chores?"},"content":{"rendered":"

No idea of money or wastage<\/strong><\/h2>\n

My five-year-old, like most five-year-olds, has no concept of money \u2013 where it comes from, how hard you have to work to get it, why you shouldn\u2019t waste it, what things cost, and so on. She prefers coins to notes, because they feel more like money. And as a result, she requests \u2018a teensy weensy present\u2019 whenever we go shopping and doesn\u2019t fret if something breaks or gets lost, because \u2018we can just get another one\u2019.<\/p>\n

But I\u2019ve seen what this attitude becomes in adult form, and it isn\u2019t pretty.<\/p>\n

As such, my littlie is now expected to earn monthly moolla, so she can learn about saving, delayed gratification and how you have to put in effort to get nice stuff.<\/p>\n

Chores for my five year old<\/strong><\/h2>\n

To structure this, she\u2019s been given chores: making her bed each morning, feeding three of our four cats once a day and taking her plate or bowl to the sink after finishing a meal. For these activities, she receives a princely sum of R20 a week. Which has to be saved up over several weeks if she\u2019s to buy anything good. Cos not even a \u2018teensy weensy\u2019 Tinkerbell figurine costs less than R20 these days.<\/p>\n

\"chores<\/p>\n

How to achieve compliance<\/strong><\/h2>\n

I\u2019ve had a lot of moms ask me how we \u2018get\u2019 her to comply. Here are some tips, not all of which are mine, and which reflect a diversity of views and approaches:<\/p>\n

1. Cash remuneration for a weekly \u2018full house\u2019
\n<\/strong>This works for us so far. But I need to see how she does with delayed gratification.<\/p>\n

2. Treat charts or star charts<\/strong>
\nWe use charts for behaviour (manners, listening, truth-telling), but not for chores.<\/p>\n

3. Tasks that are easy-ish and age-appropriate<\/strong>
\nShe battles a bit with the far end of the bed, but we coerce her to continue. And even if the bed is made poorly, at least she\u2019s made it. She\u2019ll improve over time.<\/p>\n

4. Very specific sets of instructions<\/strong>
\nWe\u2019ve shown her what to do and how to do it, with repeats, so she\u2019s clear on it.<\/p>\n

5. A sense of family obligation<\/strong>
\nThere\u2019s the sense that, if she doesn\u2019t do her bit, other stuff doesn\u2019t get done either.<\/p>\n

6. Working together as a team<\/strong>
\nThis is her best part: having one of us \u2018keep her company\u2019 while she works.<\/p>\n

7. Constant reminders, follow-ups and nudges<\/strong>
\nShe\u2019s too little to be trusted to remember, so we rely on lots and lots of nagging.<\/p>\n

8. Time out for blatant disobedience<\/strong>
\nWe don\u2019t give time-outs (5 minutes) for chore avoidance, but for tantrums\/rudeness.<\/p>\n

So, how\u2019s she doing with it?<\/h2>\n

She\u2019s doing pretty well, with a lot<\/em> of reminding. But I\u2019m determined. I never did a chore in my life and when the time came to run my own home one day, I got a nasty shock. My husband, a lifelong chore-doer, nearly headed for the hills early on.<\/p>\n

Plus, chores are not a punishment. So, for us, it\u2019s important to celebrate her \u2018growing up\u2019 and \u2018being old enough to do chores\u2019. By telling her grandparents, teachers and friends. By cheering her on. I want her to feel like chores are a gift, to help her to become a responsible, capable, self-sufficient, other-orientated adult.<\/p>\n

And there\u2019s surprise and delight.<\/h3>\n

At least, for me. I\u2019m impressed by her pride in ensuring that the duvet isn\u2019t \u2018skronkled\u2019 in the corners and that the kitten doesn\u2019t steal food from her geriatric step-grandfather. It turns out that my five-year-old rather enjoys helping. And prefers things to be in their place, safe and sound, nice and straight. Who knew?<\/p>\n

Do your kids do chores? What are they? And do you reward them? If so, how?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

This article was originally written for Jozikids by Tiffany Markman in 2016<\/em><\/p>\n

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